Overcoming Grief With God's Help

On May 17, 2010, I got THE CALL. The call that I knew someday I would get, but pushed aside because it was too painful to think about. The call that I foolishly hoped I would never get. After all, my mom was invincible, wasn't she? But on May 17, my mom left this world to go to her eternal reward, leaving my world filled with an unbearable sense of loss, emptiness, and grief. I was now an orphan. I had no mother, no father, no one...or so it felt. I ran the whole gamut of emotions; shock, sadness, anger, fear, even guilt that maybe I had left something unsaid or undone concerning my mother. These are all normal reactions, and are a healthy part of the grieving process, but I disliked feeling this way and having these thoughts.


During this time it was so hard for me to pray, but I drew upon the strength of others. In my aloneness, I clung to every encouraging word from friends who had been there and had suffered the loss of a parent, my church family, and oh, what Godsends were Carrie Pagels and Laura Frantz, who helped to give me a diversion from my pain. Thank you all so much!


There are many causes of grief---loss of a loved one, divorce, loss of a friendship or job, and there is no right way or wrong way to cope with grief, but there are healthy ways. To deny the grief may only prolong it, so face it, and if you need to cry...cry. Tears are not a sign of weakness and can be very healing. After all, the Master gave us tear ducts for a reason! Allow yourself time to grieve. You may feel like the worse is over and then have a terrible day, which happened to me just recently. I cried about Mom's death all day, and was rather upset with myself, when I should not have been.
Rely on your friends, your family, and your faith, and if the grief leaves you feeling beyond help or hope, or suicidal over a period of time, by all means seek help from a professional Christian grief counselor or your pastor. Take care of yourself and eat right, exercise, and treat yourself to some of the things you enjoy. My respite during that dark time was sitting amongst my flowers with a copy of Laura Frantz's, Courting Morrow Little, and joining Carrie on her wonderful blog.


Remember, it WILL get better. I soon realized I was not alone for Jesus said, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5. He sent people my way to help me to not feel so desolate during this time, and gave me songs in the night hours. Scriptures and hymns would just come floating to me during the day as if on a breeze. And He kept reminding me of this scripture in Psalm 27:10, "When my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord shall take care of me." So He is my father and my mother, and I am no orphan, but a child of the King! I look forward to the day when my mother and I shall be reunited in that place where no tears shall dim the eyes, and there will be no more pain or parting ever again.