Learning to Lean on God—A Survivor's Story—Part II
December 16, 1994—The Surgical
Margin: The biopsy confirmed that I did have cancer—the big C! The results
indicated that it was a very aggressive, hormone positive cancer, needing quick
attention. The week after the biopsy was filled with daily visits to multiple
doctors. My life as a healthy person who rarely went to the doctor, or even
took an aspirin, was replaced by that of a cancer patient, known on a first
name basis at our small local hospital. The cancer went to the edge of the lump
that was removed in the biopsy, so they needed to go back and take a little
more, "just to make sure they got it all"—so on December 16, it was
back to surgery.
Amid the turmoil of meeting doctors
and becoming a human pin-cushion, we found out that we could extend our
existing insurance for six more months, so most of my cancer treatments were
100% covered. God was providing a path through the valley.
January 1, 1995—Hello New Year,
Goodbye Hair: My first chemotherapy treatment was on New Years Day—I felt both
nervous and vulnerable, as I entered the room lined with recliners and IV
poles, but Jon was by my side and God was with me. My treatment went without
any problems and I returned home to discover a group of my friends had cleaned
my entire house—what a blessing!
I took my anti-nausea medications
and lay on my bed, watching TV, and waiting. Waiting for what, you ask? I
didn't know either. Is this when I would start getting sick? Fortunately,
I never got very sick—only a mild feeling of 'yuckiness' for a few days after
each treatment—no vomiting or any of the other horrors I could imagine that
would result from my chemo. And yes, I had heard my share of ‘horror stories’
about treatments going wrong. While everyone responds differently, this was my
experience—and I think they gave me some very effective anti-nausea medication.
I continued chemo for six, 28 day cycles—each cycle included chemo once a week
for two weeks, followed by a two week recovery period.
After my first chemo treatment I
was called back to the clinic and informed that my white cells had dropped too
low and I had to stay away from anyone sick. The problem was that I had just
picked up my young son from school with the flu, so guess who had to care for
him? Yep, my husband with a very sensitive sense of smell. To shorten this
story, I will say that when Jon went downstairs to check on him, 'he kicked the
bucket' and had a mess to clean up. Jon kept coming back up to the
kitchen to get more paper towels for the cleanup. With a cloth over his nose
and his eyes pleading for the relief he knew was not available, I finally asked
him, "How much was there?" and he responded, "I don't
know", he sighed and added "but it's a lot!"
Losing my hair was one of the
greatest challenges for me because I was very self-conscious about being bald.
When my hair started coming out by the handful, I think I truly looked ‘sick’.
We decided to shave the remaining scraggly hairs while we were at a weekend
retreat. However, we realized that Jon had forgotten his electric shaver and
were nervous he the might cut me. With my reduced immunity, we decided to
do something that seemed to make sense at the time—shampoo my head with Nair!
Hey, it works to make your legs smooth and hairless, why not your head?
Jon seemed to enjoy telling people
I had less hair than him and noted—"except hers will grow back and mine
won't." I began wearing a wig, or occasionally a head wrap, as soon
as my hair was gone. Only my family and closest friends saw me without my wig,
and even that was limited. At one point; however, God stretched me a bit
on this. Soon after losing my hair, I went to a hospital workshop about head
coverings for people with hair loss, and because I was the only one in
attendance who actually did not have hair--most of them were hospital staff—they
asked me to be a 'model'. While I was embarrassed, it was actually fun trying
on various colors and styles—from black, to blonde, a brunette, and the one
most liked by everyone was a redhead! Now I dye my hair—not red, but a dark
auburn. Tee Hee!
Summer, 1995—Connecting the Dots: When
I went in to prepare for the radiation series, I realized that modesty was
going to be a thing of the past. While lying on a treatment table, they lined
me up with laser beams and marked me with several small tattoo dots. They then
took a Polaroid picture, so they could get the correct alignment for each
treatment. Each time I would come back for my treatment, there on a clip on the
wall, was the Polaroid picture of me, in all my glory! Truly a strange and
awkward feeling…I wonder what happened to that picture?
My radiation treatments were five
days a week, and I was commuting from our church campgrounds for for the first
few weeks. The air conditioning on our car was broken and we were having triple
digit weather. Having the window down to cool the car also tangled the wig, so
I decided, "Hey! The people on the freeway don't know me, so I don't
care!" I pulled the wig off my head and laid it on the seat next to me,
with windows down and air blasting by me! However, as soon as I got off
the freeway, I put the wig back on before anyone I knew could see my bald head.
Later the same day, I started feeling hot and sweaty, so I went into the ladies
room so I could remove the wig and wipe the top of my head off. It felt so
good, that I decided to leave a cool damp paper towel on my head, under the
wig. When I started to feel warm again, I would tap the top of my head to cool
off again. God knows how to stretch us in our vulnerabilities, doesn't He?
Many of my friends commented on my
'happy attitude' during this time. My response was that
God had foretold us of his care and
control, and I was trusting what He told us. I believed that
God wanted us to look
for the positive, while going through the negative and sometimes we
might even find some humor, along
the way. These are the things that get us through the tough times—when we learn
to lean and become ‘overcomers’ with God's help. I truly do not know how people
without faith in God could make it through such difficult times.
Note: This is only a small glimpse
of my story and I am currently writing "the rest of the story". God
miraculously brought us through it all and I am celebrating 20 years of being a
BC Survivor this coming November. I had already decided I should write my
story, in celebration, when Diana asked me to share my testimony on OWG—God knows
how to nudge us along, doesn't He? I will let OWG know when I finish writing
this story and let everyone know how to gain access to it.
*I have provided
a link below for meaningful tips and suggestions for friends and family
supporting a loved one going through a life-threatening or chronic illness.*
Vicki’s Bio:
I live in the lovely Pacific
Northwest (Oregon) with my husband Jon, (when I'm not following him around the
world, wherever his job takes us). After 40 years of marriage we now enjoy
spending time with our five children, and look forward to our ninth grandchild,
due spring of 2014. I love to read and I am exploring my possible writing
skills, looking forward to possibly being published someday. I am currently
working on a book for young girls. I am also working on a book of my
'memoirs' from my breast cancer journey, to coincide with my 20 year survivor
anniversary at the end of 2014. I look forward to seeing where God's direction
takes me from there…
**Here is a hotlink to Vicki's Testimony of Overcoming Breast Cancer -- Part I,
in case you may have missed it.**
