When Drug Addiction Steals a Loved One

My intelligent, funny, sweet, musically talented, loving nephew would have been 43 years old today. I was there when he was born in 1975 in South Carolina. Never would I have thought that he wouldn't be celebrating his 42nd birthday. He died shortly before his birthday last year. That's him pictured above between my parents, in Newberry, Michigan.

We have a national epidemic of drug abuse. It's so prevalent that even Guideposts Magazine has begun carrying a feature article in each issue. One year ago I lost my beloved nephew to this scourge. It still doesn't seem quite real, but I'm beginning to accept his loss. We'd already had him stolen many years earlier by the drugs. Who he was was slowly, inexorably, eaten away. The sweet boy he'd been (I had custody of him for two years and also spent a lot of his childhood spending time with him) had been taken over by a foul-mouthed self-absorbed drug addict who cared more for his "mistress" of drugs than in taking care of his wife and children.

What can we do about it? Praying for our loved ones who are drug or alcohol dependent is sometimes all we can do. And both they and we will need all those prayers to get us through. The first call about a loved one having overdosed (whether accidental or deliberately) is that first horrific wake up call that we might be facing a devastating loss.

If you have friends who have gone through this, don't judge or hand out platitudes -- they aren't helpful. Instead, lend a shoulder to cry on and listen. Sadly, there are many many people who have gone down this road before you. They understand.

Don't blame yourself or other people. That's also not only unhelpful but harmful. The addict, herself or himself, has made these decisions. Sometimes there is someone involved, such as in criminal cases where someone has done something to bring on the overdose -- I'm not talking about those times. I mean when someone has gone into rehab, gotten treatment, over and over again, etc., and hasn't followed through on the bottom line thing they need to do. We make choices. I believe that the devil is all over our nation's addiction crisis. Satan lies, deceives, and cheats.

As a nation we need to rise up and fight back and help those with addictions. Jail isn't the answer (although that was where my nephew could stay clean). But neither is a rehabilitation setting where the individual can leave voluntary. And keep loving those with an addiction. Love can conquer many things. But don't be a co-dependent, either. Get help for yourself if you're living in a co-dependent situation or have a loved one whose dependency is impacting your life.

Prayer: God, lift our nation up and deliver us from deadly addictions. Bind the enemy. Breathe your peace into homes affected by loss from drug and alcohol dependency. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.

Giveaway: A devotional book to one of my commenters.

Interview With Michelle Griep—Body Image and Faith

Michelle Griep, Author

Michelle Griep is the author of A HEART DECEIVED and of UNDERCURRENT and GALLIMORE.

Michelle, welcome to Overcoming With God. We appreciate your willingness to share your testimony of overcoming with our readers. 

Would you tell us about the most difficult thing in your life you have had to overcome, with God’s help?

I have a sweet tooth the size of New York City. Can anyone relate? Cookies. Cake. CHOCOLATE! Yeah, I love me a large dessert, before and after the meal please. I’ve learned to not elbow people out of the way or mow down little old ladies with walkers when there’s a pastry to be had, and I’ve since curbed my urges to stuff my face with treats, but it wasn’t always that way.

Rewind the clock back to junior high. Afternoon. Math class. Boring…until the teacher announced that one student had brought cupcakes to share in honor of her birthday. Cupcakes?! You bet I was out of my seat before the teacher finished his sentence. That’s when I heard one of the boys call out, “Look at that. The fattest girl in the class is the first one up there.”

I was devastated. I honestly didn’t know I was fat, until then. The thing is…I wasn’t. Yeah, I admit I wasn’t Barbie thin. I had a little muffin top going on and the scale was 10 pounds more than it should’ve been. But that’s it. Ten pounds overweight, and I’ve struggled with my self-image ever since. For a while, I quit eating. Starvation works for only so long, though. So I lived on tuna sandwiches. I lost those pounds and then some, but when I looked into the mirror, I saw a fat girl.

Enter God. I discovered that God doesn’t even look at any fat jiggles or tight pants. He goes straight to the heart, and He was wondering why I cared what others thought about me more than what He did. That was a revolutionary thought. By digging into the Bible, I learned that God is more interested in how I look on the inside than the out.

There are days I still struggle with self-image. Who doesn’t? But God is faithful to remind me that this old body of mine will pass away. It’s okay if I eat a dessert now and then. He’ll love me just the same—and always will.

Disability friendliness: Is this latest release available in audio format or do you have any other works available on audio?  Do your e-books have audio capability? Do you have any in large print? 

For now, A HEART DECEIVED is available in eBook or paperback, as is UNDERCURRENT. GALLIMORE, however, is available in large print as well.

In A HEART DECEIVED, do you have any topics useful for bibliotherapy, or therapeutic influence through reading about a disorder or situation?  

There are three issues dealt with in the lives of the three main characters in A HEART DECEIVED…

Hero Ethan Goodwin is an opium addict. In the opening scene, he encounters God via a chance meeting with the Reverend John Newton. Throughout the story, Ethan deals with withdrawal from the drug while learning to depend upon God for his needs instead.

Heroine Miri Brayden has lived her entire life under the dark shadow of verbal abuse. As a result, her self image is nonexistent—until she discovers the love of God as shown through Ethan, and finds out she is a valuable creation.

Roland Brayden is Miri’s brother and is suffering from a debilitating virus causing the deterioration of his mental health. It’s a slow descent into lunacy, one which he occasionally surfaces from, and it frightens him to no end.

Throughout all these difficulties, God is there. It doesn’t mean He waves a magic wand and makes everything better, but it does mean that He changes hearts.

Thank you Michele for agreeing to answer these questions. I think many people struggle with these issues and we don't talk about it enough.

Bio: Michelle Griep’s been writing since she first discovered blank wall space and Crayolas…professionally, however, for the past 10 years. Her latest release, A HEART DECEIVED, is available by David C. Cook. You can find her at: www.writerofftheleash.blogspot.com, www.michellegriep.com or on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Giveaway: A copy of any of Michelle's books, your choice of format (international winners ebook only.)  Have you ever struggled with body image?  A sweet tooth?  Leave your comment and your email address to enter.

Three Reasons to Listen to The Lesson (audiobook) by Suzanne Woods Fisher

The Lesson by Suzanne Woods Fisher

The Lesson
Stoney Ridge Seasons #3
By Suzanne Woods Fisher

Reviewed by Carrie Fancett Pagels

The audiobook CD by Brilliance Audio only recently released (August 6) for this novel which was published by Revell in January 2013.  I pre-ordered mine. Unfortunately I got mixed up and listened to The Letters before I listened to The Lesson.  I'd advise you to listen to The Lesson first.

Reasons to listen to this audiobook:
1) Characterization and a favorite character finally gets her "man."
I have loved Mary Kate or M.K. Lapp ever since I first "met" her when she was a child in Suzanne's stories. So it is great reading a story where she is now grown up and thrown into the situation of being a teacher. And I LOVED her elderly mentor--what a wonderful character.  I wish Suzanne would give us a few more stories with her in it.

2) Bibliotherapy elements are deep and powerful. (And even affected me!) Have you read a Christian book where a big part of the story line is about the effects of Meth-amphetamine usage? I sure haven't.

Chris Yoder is a wonderful hero--he's a young man carrying the weight of the world.  Chris and Jenny, his younger sister, have a mother in prison who is a meth addict. Mom is really a piece of work and Suzanne portrays her so well I almost wonder if she, like myself, has one of these sad people in her family.  I listened to the audiotape and I had to turn it off during the part where Jenny has been suckered into a situation with her mother where I knew what was going to happen but Jenny did not.  Turned it off.  Thought what a hard core user like this who is so messed up would do. And that night I discovered my own family member was arrested on drug charges and is faces his own possible prison time.  So I got my own bit of bibliotherapy through this audiobook, which was interesting.  I thought--this person (Suzanne) knows what the family is going through. They really get it.  And that is one of the points of bibliotherapy--reading something that speaks to your own issue. And I am very glad Suzanne didn't try to sugar coat or pull a miracle out of her bonnet. I think if she had done that she'd have disappointed a lot of people who know it truly does take a miracle to pull someone out of this addiction. Great job of showing how co-dependency affects the family, too.

Interesting how one of the characters who is so powerful isn't even alive--"Old Deborah" who is still impacting the lives of Chris, Jenny, and others, by the way she gave to others in trouble. Great example of how a humble and simple life can be so meaningful!

3) The audiobook has a lovely narrator and what a great thing to do while you are washing dishes, folding clothes, and doing other "quiet" cleaning. You can read while doing housekeeping!

But back to the overall book--again we have the lovely Suzanne voice, characterization, and taut storyline. Although we start out with a suspected murder we end up discovering another crime that occurred years earlier.  

Giveaway: Gently used CD (not MP3 - can be played on a regular CD player.)  Here's what you have to do to be entered.  Check out the Deeper Shopping website and put "DS" on your comment to count twice.  If you are a Follower of our blog put OWG. We are TWO away from out 300th Follower.  That person will receive a special prize and if that person is you, email me at overcomingwithGod@aol.com!   Leave your email addy if we don't know you well.

Bibliotherapy Review of Kelly Long's A Marriage of the Heart

A Marriage of the Heart
by Kelly Long
(Thomas Nelson, 2012)

Five Stars *****

I have read and previously reviewed two of the novellas in this three Amish novella collection.  I purchased my book in CD format.  Excellent narrator.  The two novellas I already reviewed were my favorites in those books.  Following is my review of the last novella in the series--A Marriage of the Heart.

Abigail Kaufman, the most beautiful girl in her Amish community, is also a lonely girl whose mother died leaving the only child with an uncommunicative father.  Joseph Lambert has demons of his own and has only just returned to the community and has only just been received back as a member, staying with physician friends.

SPOILER ALERT
Desperate to leave the emotional neglect she receives at her father's hands, Abigail claims that the handsome bespectacled Joseph has compromised her. Hauled before the church elders, by her father, and confronting Joseph, she is shocked when he submits to marrying her despite him having done nothing wrong.  In fact, it was his deliberate attempt to ignore the beautiful girl that piqued her interest in him. Abi gets another surprise when Joseph offers to come help Mr. Kaufman with his farm.

The married couple now live in the same stifling household Abi has sought to escape.  But little by little, Joseph brings light and love to the farmhouse--from the tiny kitten to engaging his father-in-law through side-by-side work, help the man has solely needed. 

In her characteristic style, Kelly brings thrilling romance to the pages of the novella, too!  But just as Abi and Joseph are really falling in love with each other, his old flame shows up.  And she has something with her straight from the pits of hell.  You can smell the smoke on all this gal's scenes.  Only by submitting to God's will and with the love of his wife does Joseph resist the allure of dropping back into drug use--which almost killed him previously. Addiction is addiction, whether you are Amish or whatever, and Kelly does a great job of describing the pull that drug addiction can have.

Lovely job of weaving a redemptive thread of the relationship between father and daughter and Kelly drops in just enough information to help show how Abi never got to be a child because she took her mother's place around the farm. Many elements in this book that could be used for bibliotherapy. And it is a great read!  Highly recommended.

Kelly's books can be found on CBD, Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other bookstores.

Question:  Have you had to deal with drug abuse in your extended family?  How have you coped?

Giveaway: Poor Teresa was sick with flu last week for her own party.  Answer the question and put T by your name if you left her an encouraging comment on her anniversary with OWG post or go leave her a message now and come back!  This book or any of Kelly's books, choice of format to the winner. (Ebook only outside of the U.S.)

Carrie Fancett Pagels Interviews Carla Stewart

Carla Stewart is the author of Chasing Lilacs, Broken Wings, and Stardust, just released in May, 2012.  

I met Carla through some online groups, including My Book Therapy, ACFW, and our mutual friend, Marian Baay.  

Carla, welcome to Overcoming Through Time – With God’s Help.  Would you share either the most difficult thing in your life you have had to overcome, with God’s help, or the most tragic situation or circumstance one of your character’s has had to get past?

I'm not sure I've had a single life experience to overcome, but I have always struggled with trying to fix others - I'm a first-born, choleric with a soft spot for hurting people. I became a nurse. What I've had to learn in my personal life is surrendering control in tough situations - my oldest son's depression/drug and alcohol use/dropping out of school at age 16 (a six-year saga - thankfully with a happy outcome). My mother's battle with cancer and attending her the last two months of her life. My mother-in-law's Alzheimer's. My writing career. All are areas where I've had to surrender myself and those I love to God and his plans. And I've drawn from my life experiences in my writing as I've strived to bring messages of hope to those who are hurting or dealt a tough hand.

What is your favorite bible verse and why?

Micah 6:8.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
   And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly with your God.

I love that God has given us all of scripture, but this verse sums it up for me. What a blueprint for life!  I stand in awe every day at God’s mercy bestowed on me.

Disability friendliness:

Is this latest release available in audio format or do you have any other works available on audio?

 All of my books are (or will be) available in e-formats – Kindle and others. Both Chasing Lilacs and Broken Wings are available in large print with a hardback library binding. Broken Wings is available as an unabridged audio book both as a download or on CDs.

What has been the most important thing you hope your readers will get from your books and why?

The first thing I hope readers will find is a cast of characters they will come to care about. I love the nostalgic eras and try to recapture those days for readers. This is especially true in Chasing Lilacs and my next book, Stardust, but Broken Wings has a historical thread, also, that parallels the story. In all of my books, I deliver hope for the future. My hope is that readers will sigh in satisfaction when the last page is read. Although I tie up most threads, I also like to leave enough mystery so that readers will wonder how the characters are doing. Sort of the same way we do with good friends.

As you researched your books, did you learn anything that particularly touched your heart?

I already had a folder of material on Alzheimer’s so I reviewed it, researched current articles, and relied on my past experience as a nurse to bring the character to life. The Alzheimer’s research became very personal when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with mid-stage Alzheimer’s less than a month after Broken Wings was contracted. She’s a beautiful lady, and it’s been sad to see her spiral deeper into the tangles of this dreadful disease.

But the most challenging part of the research was learning about abuse which, thankfully, didn’t come from such a personal connection. I studied the personality types of victims and abusers and read a lot of personal stories and case studies.

I came to the writing knowing it would be a struggle, but I also knew that, for me, abuse is intolerable. What I didn’t expect, though, was learning that abuse is much more common than I ever imagined. Often there are warning signs that begin before actual abuse takes center stage—irrational behavior, disdain for authorities, getting hot tempered over trivial things, blaming others for their behavior, wanting to be in control of the relationship. The most alarming statistic that I read was that 40% of teens age 14-17 had either been abused or knew someone who had while in a dating relationship. If anything, I hope Broken Wings gives courage to women who are in abusive relationships, that they will realize that it’s not their fault nor their responsibility to stay with an abuser because he “needs” her. Victims, too, have a choice. Help is available.  

Readers, we are posting a Saturday recap.  Carla includes resources at the end of the book, which is wonderful!  As outlined above, she has a great many topics useful for bibliotherapy, or therapeutic influence through reading her books.

Thank you, Carla, for agreeing to answer these questions.  Have a blessed day and keep on writing!!

Thank you. It’s been a pleasure. Blessings to you and your readers here! 


Carla Stewart's books can be purchased through CBD, Amazon, and other book stores.

GIVEAWAY:  A copy of one of Carla's books!

Special Friends Week - Interview with Karen Grassi Vogel

Karen Anna Grassi Vogel is the author of the Amish Knitting Circle Series and Knit Together: An Amish Knitting Novel.

I met Karen when our agent, Joyce Hart, fell and broke her hip. Karen sent an email out to all Joyce’s clients telling them of an e-card service to shower Joyce with cards. Karen is a member of the  ACFW Mid-Atlantic Group, of which I am the Zone Director, and has become our Pittsburgh Area Coordinator. Karen is a Compassion International Representative and we sponsor a boy in Colombia and contribute to a village in Africa through this wonderful ministry, also.  So I am happy to claim Karen as a special friend that we are featuring this week on Overcoming Through Time- With God's Help!

Karen, welcome to Overcoming Through Time.  Would you share either the most difficult thing in your life you have had to overcome, with God’s help, or the most tragic situation or circumstance one of your character’s has had to get past?

Thank you so much for having me on Overcoming Through Time. I wrote my novel Knit Together: An Amish Knitting Novel after losing my mom and two cousins in 13 months. My mom was 83 and in a four year decline, but my cousin Stacy, age 40, was quickly taken by cancer, and her sister, Renea, age 48, a year later…cancer also. I remember crying, feeling numb and shaking my fist at God.

I visited my Amish friend, Lydia, in Smicksburg, PA. She’d just lost her sister-in-law due to a heart attack, leaving eight children. We talked about grief and loss and I felt she accepted things much better than I did. I wanted to know why my loved ones died. Plain and simple….Lord….why did this happen? But the Amish don’t ask why. They have a profound sense of the sovereignty of God. When a buggy accident happens, or other tragedies, they seem to know they’re in the palm of God’s hand and everything is going to be alright. They shed lots of tears like we do, but they have an inner knowing that God is in control. So, I’m Ginny in my book Knit Together, and Lydia is Katie Byler. We live across the street from each other and I learn about grief the Amish way.

I also learn to knit in the book, and I’ve come to see knitting is a gift from God because it’s really good for your mental health!  The idea to do my Amish Knitting Circle series came to me when I was doing research on Amish spirituality. I had a long chat with an eighty year old Amish woman who helped start the Smicksburg Amish settlement. When I said I had to leave to go to knitting class, her eyes glowed; she told me she was a yarn spinner in her younger days. I asked if she could knit, and she said, “Oh, yes.” I didn’t know the Amish knit, but found they do and find great comfort in all the fabric arts: crochet, knitting, embroidery, needlepoint, and sewing. They do many crafts to relax, just like us English women do.

 What is your favorite bible verse and why?

      The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me

      to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted

      and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. Isaiah 61:1 (NLT2)

This verse is just full of hope. I first started meditating on it when my dad passed away, on Christmas Day, sixteen years ago. I was brokenhearted and clung to this scripture. At first I focused on He came to comfort the brokenhearted and then I started to see how Christ wants to set captives free. So, my husband and I started getting involved with poverty ministry. We’ve been volunteer advocates for Compassion International for thirteen years now. Third world poverty is cruel, especially to children, and we hope to make a difference…to see these children set free through knowing Christ’s love and meeting their basic needs.  

Disability friendliness: My books are on kindle and Nook or any electronic device. I have a kindle and can make it large print and it’s also voice activated. Really love my kindle.

What has been the most important thing you hope your readers will get from your books and why?

My greatest hope for my book though is people will realize you don’t have to be Amish to be happy. I have a town full of people, half Amish and half English, similar to the town I lived in in Upstate NY. We saw people wanting to turn Amish, and Amish wanting to be English. 


I came to realize that peace is found in Christ alone. But lately, the Amish have been bombarded by folks who ask, “How can I become Amish?” Here’s advice one Amish man put in the Budget, an Amish newspaper:

“If you admire our faith, strengthen yours. If you admire our sense of commitment, deepen yours. If you admire our community spirit, build your own. If you admire the simple life, cut back. If you admire deep character and enduring values, live them yourself."

I put this quote in Knit Together, and show how Ginny and James Rowland change their life radically after following this advice. So I show a family who doesn’t turn Amish, but gleans a lot from them. I hope readers can do the same. 

As you researched your books, did you learn anything that particularly touched your heart?

The Amish view shunning as a loving act. I was told that if a shunned person came back to the community, and repented of their sin, even after being away for a decade or more, they would forgive and forget. The person would be reinstated into fellowship immediately. They also never stop praying for shunned people.  

Also, after knowing Amish families for twenty years, I didn’t know how much faith it took to live in community. They have to trust God daily to be content to live in their “Colonial” lifestyle. They see the modern conveniences and are always trying to figure out which ones to adopt and which ones will make their lives too fast paced. I was shocked that church members voted annually on matters such as allowing gas stoves, indoor plumbing etc. They don’t take a final vote until everyone is in agreement, or at least not upset about the decision.

I have to really watch what I say in front of the Amish, because I don’t want to make them feel the grass is green in English pastures. For example, when getting peaches from my Amish friend, she talked about how long it took to put up all her fruits and vegetables. I said I got a FoodSaver and all I did was slice, dice, throw stuff in a bag, push a button, and viola, I am done. As soon as I said this I saw her teenage daughters gawk at me. They just couldn’t believe it, and once again, I felt like I had to apologize for bringing discontent into their home.

In this latest work, do you have any topics useful for bibliotherapy, or therapeutic influence through reading about a disorder or situation?

Well, my characters have many problems. Joseph has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, since he was in NYC during 9/11. He’s also a former drug addict who went through Celebrate Recovery. Ginny’s in grief and going through the empty nest syndrome, and learns the whole Serenity Prayer used in Twelve Step Programs. I have an Amish man, Judah, who is shunned but comes back to the community and lives with the Baptist preacher who counsels him; Judah’s an ACA; adult children of alcoholics. Eli Hershberger, is actually my first Amish friend, Harry Hershberger. His buggy was hit and he became a paraplegic. I tried my hardest to portray Harry accurately because to me, he is as inspirational as Joni Erickson Tada.  Also, Christmas deals with holiday depression, since I feel qualified to write about that.

Thank you Karen for agreeing to answer these questions.  Have a blessed day and keep on writing!!


GIVEAWAY:  This week we are giving away Christmas books every day.  It will be a secret until each night but the books are Christian fiction releases from within the past two years.  Leave a comment for a chance to win!