When Drug Addiction Steals a Loved One

My intelligent, funny, sweet, musically talented, loving nephew would have been 43 years old today. I was there when he was born in 1975 in South Carolina. Never would I have thought that he wouldn't be celebrating his 42nd birthday. He died shortly before his birthday last year. That's him pictured above between my parents, in Newberry, Michigan.

We have a national epidemic of drug abuse. It's so prevalent that even Guideposts Magazine has begun carrying a feature article in each issue. One year ago I lost my beloved nephew to this scourge. It still doesn't seem quite real, but I'm beginning to accept his loss. We'd already had him stolen many years earlier by the drugs. Who he was was slowly, inexorably, eaten away. The sweet boy he'd been (I had custody of him for two years and also spent a lot of his childhood spending time with him) had been taken over by a foul-mouthed self-absorbed drug addict who cared more for his "mistress" of drugs than in taking care of his wife and children.

What can we do about it? Praying for our loved ones who are drug or alcohol dependent is sometimes all we can do. And both they and we will need all those prayers to get us through. The first call about a loved one having overdosed (whether accidental or deliberately) is that first horrific wake up call that we might be facing a devastating loss.

If you have friends who have gone through this, don't judge or hand out platitudes -- they aren't helpful. Instead, lend a shoulder to cry on and listen. Sadly, there are many many people who have gone down this road before you. They understand.

Don't blame yourself or other people. That's also not only unhelpful but harmful. The addict, herself or himself, has made these decisions. Sometimes there is someone involved, such as in criminal cases where someone has done something to bring on the overdose -- I'm not talking about those times. I mean when someone has gone into rehab, gotten treatment, over and over again, etc., and hasn't followed through on the bottom line thing they need to do. We make choices. I believe that the devil is all over our nation's addiction crisis. Satan lies, deceives, and cheats.

As a nation we need to rise up and fight back and help those with addictions. Jail isn't the answer (although that was where my nephew could stay clean). But neither is a rehabilitation setting where the individual can leave voluntary. And keep loving those with an addiction. Love can conquer many things. But don't be a co-dependent, either. Get help for yourself if you're living in a co-dependent situation or have a loved one whose dependency is impacting your life.

Prayer: God, lift our nation up and deliver us from deadly addictions. Bind the enemy. Breathe your peace into homes affected by loss from drug and alcohol dependency. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.

Giveaway: A devotional book to one of my commenters.

Julianna Deering -- Overcoming the Loss of Beloved Pets

Julianna Deering, welcome to Overcoming With God.  We appreciate your willingness to share your testimony of overcoming with our readers.  

Would you tell us about the one of the most difficult things in your life you have had to overcome, with God’s help?   

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my cats. I love most animals to tell the truth, but I keep cats because they’re so easy to take care of and so loving to have around. One of the most difficult things for me was when I lost three of them over a short period of time due to cancer. For me, losing one of my babies is as painful as losing a child. Losing three was very difficult. They each had a unique personality that can never be replaced.

CFP: I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing all three of them so close together. 

What passages in the Bible have been most helpful to you in those times?

My very favorite verse for difficult times is Isaiah 41:13:  For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.” No matter what I’ve gone through, I have always found this to be true. I may not see it at first, but eventually I can see His hand guiding me and comforting me through whatever comes.

What helped you get through or helped you cope with this difficulty?

God’s help and comfort, of course. But getting new cats (especially the ones from the shelter who desperately need homes) always lets me know that life goes on and that He provides us with love and companionship if we just look for it.
CFP: I found that picture of a trio of adorable kittens on the internet and am sharing it here. There are so many pets looking for adoption -- and love!

Disability friendliness: Is this latest release available in audio format or do you have any other works available on audio?  Do your e-books have audio capability? Do you have any in large print?  

At present, only the first book in the series, Rules of Murder, is available as an audiobook, however every book in the series is text-to-speech enabled and available in a large-print version.
CFP: My audiobook review will be up on Tuesday!

In this latest work, do you have any topics useful for bibliotherapy, or therapeutic influence through reading about a disorder or situation?  

I’m not sure if this is the kind of situation you’re looking for, but I do happen to have someone in Murder on the Moor who is blind. I didn’t plan on her being blind originally. I didn’t even plan on having her in the book at all, but she appeared and fit into my plot just perfectly. I especially like her because her blindness doesn’t define her. 

BIO:

JULIANNA DEERING has always been an avid reader and a lover of storytelling, whether on the page, the screen or the stage. This, along with her keen interest in history and her Christian faith, shows in her tales of love, forgiveness and triumph over adversity. A fifth-generation Texan, she makes her home north of Dallas with three spoiled cats and, when not writing, spends her free time quilting, cross-stitching and watching NHL hockey. Her series of Drew Farthering mysteries, set in 1930s England, debuted from Bethany House with Rules of Murder (2013) and is followed by Death by the Book and Murder at the Mikado (2014), Dressed for Death (2016), Murder on the Moor (2017) and Death at Thorburn Hall (coming Fall 2017). Also, as DeAnna Julie Dodson, she has written a trilogy of medieval romances (In Honor Bound, By Love Redeemed and To Grace Surrendered) and six contemporary mysteries for Annie’s Fiction. She is represented by Wendy Lawton of the Books & Such Literary Agency (www.booksandsuch.biz).

Julianna’s Links:

On the web:

 www.juliannadeering.com

&

www.deannajuliedodson.com

On Facebook:

Author Julianna Deering

Author DeAnna Julie Dodson

On Twitter:

@DeAnnaJulDodson

On Goodreads: Julianna Deering

Book Links:

Christianbook.com: Drew Fathering

Amazon:

Drew Fathering Mysteries

Barnes and Noble:

Murder on the Moor

Books-A-Million:

Murder on the Moor

Book blurb:

            At the urgent request of Drew's old school friend, Hubert "Beaky" Bloodworth, Drew and Madeline Farthering come to Bloodworth Park Lodge in the midst of the Yorkshire moors, a place as moody and mysterious as a Brontë hero. According to Beaky, there have been several incidents of mischief making out on the moor, property destroyed, fires started, streams dammed up, sheep and cattle scattered and, if local gossip is to be believed, the sighting of the shadowy figure of a great black hound. Worst of all, the vicar has been found dead on the steps of the church, and no one can imagine who would want to kill him.

            Beaky is obviously smitten with his wife of eight months, the gorgeous and vivacious Sabrina Bloodworth, though it's hard to imagine what she sees in a man as awkward and plain as he. Drew can't help wondering if Sabrina's affections lie more with Beaky's money than himself and, just perhaps, with the fiery Welsh gamekeeper, Rhys Delwyn. Delwyn says poachers are to blame for the recent trouble, Sabrina claims the moor is haunted, and Beaky suspects that Carter Gray, a neighboring landowner with a longstanding grudge against the Bloodworths, is behind the episodes. But when someone else is murdered and the troubling incidents grow more threatening, Drew begins to suspect local ne'er-do-well Jack Midgley of more than poaching. But just how does Midgley fit into the scheme and who is paying him? It's up to Drew to look past his own prejudices, determine what is really going on, and find the killer before it's too late.

GIVEAWAY: Juliana is giving away a paperback copy of Murder on the Moor. Answer this question: What would you like to see in cozy mystery that you haven’t seen before?

Surviving the Loss of a Child - Interview with Lynn Coleman

Author Lynn Coleman

Lynn A. Coleman, welcome to Overcoming With God.  We appreciate your willingness to share your testimony of overcoming with our readers. 

Thank you for inviting me. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Would you tell us about the one of the most difficult things in your life you have had to overcome, with God’s help? 

Answer: 

The most difficult part of my husband’s and my life together has been the death of our son, Tim. He was 32 and died of congestive heart failure that had been misdiagnosed. I suppose that telling the readers that the loss of a child is the most difficult thing a parent will have to face might be a bit of an understatement. However, God has been very gracious to us. For example, on the day that Tim passed away family had started to arrive and I was having one of those overwhelming moments that happen when you suffer a tragic event such as this. I went into my bedroom and cried out to the Lord, “You don’t know what it’s like to lose a s…” I paused, for the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. God did in fact know what it was like to lose a son. So I said, “Okay, I’ll give you that. But there’s always been one thing that I’ve never had a response to when women are grieving and they say something like, ‘but God didn’t carry that child in his womb for 9 months.’” There was a moment of pause between God and me. At that point He ever so gently gave me a vision. He said, “See the palm of my hand? Inside that palm is every person who ever lived or will live.” Then He reached into the center of his palm and pulled one person out part way. It was Tim. He then said to me, “I’ve carried him in the palm of my hand for over 6000 years.”

Tim Coleman, Lynn's precious son

The reality is that God does love us more than we can love our own children. He knows the hairs upon their heads. Personally, I’ve never tried to count the hairs on the top of my kids’ heads. For one thing, they were born with tons of hair. LOL! For another, it would be impossible. But yet God loves Tim far more than I ever could. The Lord also showed me at this point in time that we in the American Church often don’t stand on the Victory of Death. There is victory in death because of what Jesus did on the cross, and if we believe and accept Him into our hearts we also inherit that victory. Tim is standing in heaven in that victory. Paul and I still have moments when we are sad and miss our son tremendously but we always come back to standing in the power of the resurrection. There’s an old hymn that has a mighty truth, “There’s power in the blood of Lamb.”

Artwork by the talented Tim Coleman

What passages in the Bible have been most helpful to you in those times?

Many. In the Psalms 139:13 he talks about knitting us together in the womb. Another is, “I go to prepare a place for you.” (Jn. 14:2); and then perhaps one of my life verses, James 1:2: “Count it all joy my brethren, when you meet various trials, …”

What helped you get through or helped you cope with this difficulty?

The Lord, my faith, and my husband‑-in that order.

In this latest work, do you have any topics useful for bibliotherapy, or therapeutic influence through reading about a disorder or situation?  

In my latest novella, “Love on the Rails”, in the “Rails toLove” collection (Barbour, October 2016), the heroine, Tilda Green, is dealing with the loss of her parents and the new chapter in her life. It makes sense for a mail order bride to go to a stranger when you’ve lost everything. However, she too has to develop her own faith as she works through the trials in her life.

Bio: Lynn A. Coleman is an award winning and best-selling author of Key West and other books. She began her writing and speaking career with how to utilize the Internet. Since October 1998, when her first fiction novel sold she's sold 40 books and novellas.

       Lynn is also the founder of American Christian Fiction Writers Inc., and served as the group's first president for two years and two years on the Advisory Board. One of her primary reasons for starting ACFW was to help writers to develop their writing skills and to encourage others to go deeper in their relationship with God. "God has given me a gift, but it is my responsibility to develop that gift." 

       Some of her other interests are photography, camping, cooking and boating. Having grown up on Martha’s Vineyard, she finds water to be very exciting and soothing. She can sit and watch the waves for hours. If time permitted she would like to travel.

       She makes her home in Keystone Heights, Florida, where her husband of 42 years serves as pastor of Friendship Bible Church. Together they are blessed with three children, 2 living and 1 in glory and eight grandchildren. 

www.lynncoleman.com

Blog: 19^th Century Historical Tidbits www.historicaltidbits.blogspot.com

Twitter @LynnColeman

Instagram: lynnwr

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lynn-Coleman/295159933831982?ref=bookmarks

CFP: Thank you for sharing with us, Lynn. What a handsome and talented young man Tim was. I am so sorry for your loss. One day God will reunite us with our loved ones and what a happy day that will be to be with God and with them.

GIVEAWAY: This week we're giving away a paperback copy of Love on the Rails. Leave a comment for a chance to win. Answer Lynn's Question she’d like to ask readers:

"I love hearing from my readers. I’m interested in hearing what they enjoyed from the story and what they would like to see in a future book."

"The Innocent" Audiobookby Ann H. Gabhart - Review by Carrie Fancett Pagels

The Innocent by Ann H. Gabhart, Recorded Books audiobook

The Innocent By Ann H. Gabhart
Recorded Books,  2015

I listened to this book via an audible.com download. The narration was good and the story compelling. Ms. Gabhart has eight books available on audible.com. This is a historical Christian fiction book with strong romantic elements, it is not a Christian historical romance. 

Carlyn Kearney hasn't given up hope that her husband, Ambrose, might yet return from the Civil War. A Union soldier, he's unaccounted for after a major battle. Waiting in a cabin in the woods, with her trusty dog, Carylyn is feisty and determined. But the horrid man, Mr. Whitlow, who holds the mortgage to her property is trying to compromise her. Sheriff Mitchell Brodie, new to town, suspects what Curt Whitlow is up to but when Carlyn disappears into  Shaker village he has trouble getting information. Poor Caryln had to leave her trusty companion, too, and when the Shakers refuse her beloved pet she has the sheriff take him in. 

Sister Edna, quickly becomes a bane to Carlyn. Nothing she does is good enough. The odd Shaker ways are arcane to her and don't fit with the teachings of Christianity she learned growing up with her strict minister family. But there are dark and mysterious goings on at the Shaker village, requiring the handsome sheriff to return. With each visit between Caryln and Mitchell, their feelings for one another grow. But is she still married? Caryln receives some news that changes her life.

The story culminates in a very dark and scary manner for Caryln. There is a death and subsequent grave difficulties for her. One cool thing I loved about this story was how God can use anyone or anything, including pets, to do His will. I've always been intrigued by the Biblical story of the donkey who talked and I have a manuscript that part of the arc was how God can use anything, anyone, any way He wishes and that part of Gabhart's story especially captured my heart!

I think you might be, as I was, creeped out by the teachings of "Mother Ann" of which I had no idea the Shakers believed. A real eye opener of a story! 

Bibliotherapy: Loss of spouse, predators, loss of belongings, hope, restoration, and maintaining one's faith.





  This book may be purchased through Audible.com,  Amazon, CBD, BAM, and your local bookstores. I recommend the audible version as it was well done.

GIVEAWAY: A paperback copy of The innocent by Ann H. Gabhart. Answer this question: What do you know about "Mother Ann" of the Shakers and which of Ann H. Gabhart's books have you already read? 





Tracie Peterson's "A Treasure Concealed" - Audiobook Review by Carrie Fancett Pagels

Blurb: Emily Carver wants a home where she can put down roots instead of following her gold-hungry father from one mining camp to another. She also longs for tenderness and love, both of which are missing in her life. Yet when she realizes she's losing her heart to the intriguing new man in camp, she fiercely fights her feelings, afraid that love will only result in disappointment and heartache.

Caeden Thibault, a young geologist, comes to Montana to catalog minerals indigenous to the state. He's a serious and guarded young man trying to escape the pain of his past. He has avoided all romantic entanglements, fearing he might become like his abusive father. But something about Emily Carver has caught his attention, something he never expected. . . .

Will these two broken souls allow God to bring healing and hope to their hurting hearts?

Carrie Fancett Pagels' Audiobook Review

Five Stars *****

A Gem of a Story!

First of all, since I didn't read the blurb closely on the audiobook listing, I didn't know the characters' names. So I found myself wondering at the name Caden Tebow (sounded like football player Tim Tebow's name) and I thought that was a little odd. Now that I see in the blurb that the name is Thibault, that makes sense to me. We have lots of Thibaults where I grew up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, but after not hearing that name in decades, but having heard so much about Tim Tebow, I thought that was interesting that Tracie was borrowing his last name -- which she wasn't!!!

This is the first book in a new 1890's series set in Montana, where Tracie lives. Emily is a sweet and very sympathetic heroine. She's known so much hardship in her life and she's losing her mother to a prolonged illness. Caeden hasn't known what family is. While Emily longs for a home (really she longs for a house that is a real house and not a tent or a rickety cabin) Caeden seeks to avoid making the mistakes his parents made and to find a home based on love and respect. Both have a tough spiritual journey and need to get straight with God about their hardened hearts. Tracie masterfully weaves the redemption thread into the story.

With lots of action and bad guys you want to string up yourself, this also has a strong romance. Great narrator, who is perfect for the story.

What are those rocks that Mr. Carver keeps finding? They aren't gold, but are they sapphires?  There are two more books coming in this series -- looking forward to hearing more!

Bibliotherapy elements: Poverty, loss, death of a parent, injuries, and the need to find faith. 

Giveaway: This week on OWG blog we're giving away a copy of A Treasure Concealed, winner's choice of format. Winner's choice of format (OPEN to international readers also, A Treasure Concealed is available through Book Depository!) 

Dealing with Loss During the Holidays by Teresa S. Mathews

Carlton posing with his "wise man" crown!
He loved having fun at Christmas.
Yes, it was made from a pie pan and yes,
he was very proud of it!! lol

As most of you know I lost the love of my life, my husband Carlton, on May 7^th and as expected I have been dealing with overwhelming grief. There are days that I make it through without crying, then again there are days when all I do is cry. When you love someone and have been married to them for 28 years the loss is unbearable.

I have found out that the holidays are especially difficult. The first Mother’s Day we were at the funeral home for the wake; that was very tough for my sweet mother-in-law. Father’s Day was rough for the boys and Thanksgiving was extremely difficult because sweet Carlton loved eating lunch with his family and he was very thankful for turkey! J

Christmas was our very favorite holiday, as worship leaders we loved singing the beautiful Christmas carols. Every year at some point we would sing O Beautiful Star of Bethlehem and a newer one that he loved was I’m Glad I Know Who Jesus Is and we can’t forget Joy to the World. There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than losing yourself in the wonder of Christmas; the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus!  Until you lose the love of your life; I have found everything has lost its appeal. I haven’t lost my love for Jesus, but the joyful celebration I once felt is just not there this year.

I know there are different ways to deal with the at times almost suffocating and over powering grief that sweeps across me, my favorite way is to just crawl up in my Father God’s lap and let Him hold me and soothe my pain.  Reading His Word and praying is a wonderful way to find the solace you need. I am going to share a few scriptures that the Lord brought to me, usually late into the night, when my sons are sleep and the house is way too quiet. I have been a Christian since I was five years old and at the age of ten I started reading the Bible through from cover to cover, and I am still amazed that no matter how many times you read it certain scriptures don’t register with you until the exact moment you need them. GOD is great like that!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. This is the one that He brought to mind when I was on the way to the hospital during the time Mom’s hip was broken in the nursing home. I was crying and telling Him I felt that I couldn’t take anymore, then this precious scripture came to mind. 

Joel 2:25-29 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. ²⁶ And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. ²⁷ And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed. ²⁸ And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: ²⁹ And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. I came across this scripture on March 22; this wasn’t long before Carlton began to get worse. This proves that GOD is always looking out for us, sometimes we are forewarned when trouble is coming, but most times, GOD wants us to live in the confidence He provides His children: unwavering faith!

Jeremiah 31:25-26 For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. ²⁶ Upon this I awaked, and beheld; and my sleep was sweet unto me.  This was another of those restless night’s scriptures. I know when you are going through hard places there are times when you can’t rest or sleep but GOD has promised us it will come! Another scripture about this is Proverbs 3:24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

There are so many more scriptures I could share that have been my saving grace during this time, but this one has been the most special to me; 

Isaiah 54:4-7 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. ⁵ For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. ⁶ For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. ⁷ For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. ⁸ In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer. The day I found this scripture I felt like I was drowning and this was like a lifesaver being tossed to me. I won’t go into details but it was a particularly trying day and the Lord knew I needed to be reminded of His great love for me. 

When I married Carlton I had only worked a few years, and when the boys came along He wanted me to stay at home with them and we stepped out in faith believing GOD would supply our needs, (and of course HE DID).  So I basically went from my daddy’s provision to Carlton’s and when Carlton left for Heaven it was very scary for me, a woman with no college degree, to think about providing for myself and my sons. I do pride myself on the fact of being a quick study, so, when the Lord reminded me of this scripture I immediately realized the error of my thoughts. Just as HE the put the words, GOD’S GOT THIS, in my spirit the day Carlton was diagnosed with cancer for the second time; they are even more true to me now that HE is proving to me daily that HE does in fact have everything that I need, precisely at the moment I need it! GOD IS SO GOOD!!

Below you will find a poem I wrote a few days ago, I don’t mind you sharing it but please leave my name on it, as it was written especially with my dear, sweet Carlton in mind. 

CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

Christmas was our favorite time of year,

The joy, the laughter, the spreading of cheer.

Loving the story how Jesus came down;

Singing the carols, oh, what a beautiful sound.

We loved the presents, receiving and giving.

The happiness of the season made life worth the living.

We thought we would celebrate this year just the same;

Until the day you heard Jesus calling your name.

This year Christmas for us will be lonely and blue; 

but I'm glad that's not the way things are for you.

I know that you are happy in Heaven above;

the beautiful place that is filled with GOD's love.

What joy you must feel to look on Jesus face,

and to say thank you for His saving grace.

Your first Christmas in Heaven must be glorious and grand,

and I can't wait for the day I join you in that land.

© Teresa S Mathews 2015

Yep, these were just a tad long for him! 

He was happy with every present but he did love chocolate!
Christmas 2014

Christmas 2011

Big, Squishy Hug Christmas 2010

Christmas 2012

Christmas 2013

Our last Christmas together 2014

Merry Christmas From the OWG Crew;

Carrie, Diana, Noela, Bonnie and Teresa!!