On my first visit to Overcoming with God, I wrote about how
drastically my life changed the day my husband and I learned our younger son
Nathanael had Down Syndrome. Through that experience, we learned that God can
turn sadness into joy. I included a character with Down Syndrome in my first
book, and I’m thrilled to report that right now as I type, plans are underway
at our church to develop a ministry to other families with special needs.
Caroline, the young woman with Down Syndrome, also appears
in my second book, as does another character with a different kind of special
need. But this condition isn’t visible on the face. In fact, it is one family
members seldom discuss with any but their closest friends and relatives. Mental
illness.
The intrepid heroine of my latest book has a sister locked
away in an asylum. Because my book is set in the past, I chose a brain trauma
injury instead of a heredity illness such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder
to explain her behavior. I figured the characters of the time period could
better understand an injury.
I wish I could say our “modern” era is more understanding.
Well, perhaps it is, but only to a degree. The truth is that mental illness is
still highly misunderstood, often misdiagnosed, and usually stigmatized.
Our family spiraled into the darkness of mental illness
around the same time Nathanael was born. My husband had had some stress issues
a few years earlier, and then again when Nathanael was a few months old—probably
the first signs of developing bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the body that
disrupts the brain’s ability to regulate a person’s moods. People with bipolar
alternate between periods of mania (elevated moods) and depression (lowered
moods). Depending on the person, cycles may be as rapid as minutes or as slow
as years.
For months, my husband complained of sleeping issues,
digestion problems, work stress—all classic symptoms of depression. After a
trip to Asia (and attendant 15-hour time change), he returned home excited,
charged, and filled with ideas for his job.
And then a few months later, he was once again stressed, tired,
miserable.
I wanted to be a supportive wife. Tell me what you need to
be happy, and we’ll make it work, I’d beg. But he couldn’t tell me because
there is no rational reason for the depression that comes part and parcel with
bipolar. I’d had no prior experience with mental illness, and I couldn’t
recognize it though I was staring it right in the face.
Another trip to Asia brought another manic episode, one with
symptoms conspicuous enough even for me to look back over the past few years
and see the developing pattern. Elevated moods of approximately three-months
followed cycles of depression lasting nine-to-twelve months. I will never the
first time I voiced the words to a friend, “I think my husband has bipolar
disorder.”
Then followed the frightening aftermath as I learned just
how serious bipolar is. What would happen if he refused to get treatment? What
would happen it the doctors couldn’t find a combination of medications that
would stabilize the disease? Many people with bipolar enjoy the highs of the
manic episodes too much to take their medications. Many others are unable to hold
a regular job or maintain normal family relationships.
I spoke to people with bipolar disorder. I questioned family
members of people with bipolar disorder. I prayed. I cried. And I made
contingency plans. What would happen if he couldn’t keep his job at some point?
What would happen if he refused to get treatment? Our boys were six and three
at the time. Was it better for them to stay or go? At the time, I figured there
was a 50% chance we’d still be married five years later.
Look at the top of this blog again: Overcoming with God. I
am thrilled to tell the world that this is not my story, it’s his. He is the
one sought treatment, who takes his medication faithfully, who monitors his
sleep and diet, who sees his doctor regularly.
That was 13 years ago. Today, David is a deacon in our
church and works full time. Our boys have only ever known a two-parent family.
My husband is, in short, a bipolar success story, a man who lives a normal
life, and who just happens to also have a mental illness.
And he is the one who gave me permission to go forward with
our story, despite the stigma attached to mental illness. We have never told
this story in such a public forum—in front of friends, relatives, co-workers,
and total strangers.
I wish I could promise every bipolar story would end so
happily, but I can’t. Mental illness can be an incredibly debilitating
condition that robs us of our very essence. However, we can offer hope. Even in
our darkest hours, God will hold our hands.
GIVEAWAY: "Like" C.J.'s author page on Facebook and put "CJ" after your answer to this question: Do you have a loved one who suffers from mental illness? One winner will receive a copy of C.J.'s new release!
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