Overcoming The “Empty Nest” Blues by Susanne Dietze

Overcoming The “Empty Nest” Blues
By Susanne Dietze

Earlier this year, my oldest child left for college. She was eighteen, fresh out of high school, and ready to start a new adventure.

I knew it was coming. I had eighteen years to plan for it. Nevertheless, when she left I experienced Empty Nest Syndrome—the grief, lack a purpose, or depression parents can experience when a young-adult child leaves the house for the first time. While a child growing up and going to school or starting work is a normal, healthy thing, sometimes letting them go can be painful on Mom and Dad. Empty Nest Syndrome is not a clinical condition, but it’s common enough to be recognized by its name and experienced at some degree or another by many parents.

I should clarify here that my nest was not exactly empty. I still have one at home. Nevertheless, I missed my daughter’s presence in the house, her companionship and insights. I wondered how she would do, if she’d be safe or sad.

But stronger than those feelings, I wanted her to grow. To learn more about who God made her to be. To meet new people and make new friends, hopefully the ones that last a lifetime. To gain independence.

As hard as it can be to be the Mama Bird and watch our babies leave, I knew beyond the horizon God had something magnificent in store for my child. Living in the nest is a good thing, for a time. It’s intended for our safety, our growth, our nurture. But we can’t stay there. No matter our ages, we are all more the people God created us to be when we stretch the wings He gave us and fly.

And sure enough, one school year later, she has grown in independence, confidence, and happiness. She has made true friends. She’s learned things about herself, tried new things, and her relationship with God has deepened.

I’ve done all right, too.

Here are a few things I did to cope:

Talk to God.

He loves our children more than we do. I asked Him to care for my daughter and told Him all about my fears, hopes, and feelings.

Go ahead and grieve.

Take a little time to allow yourself to be sad. It’s normal and appropriate to miss a member of your family who is no longer living under the same roof!

Seek Support—but Don’t Compare.

Friends—especially ones who’ve been through what you’re going through—can be a strong source of comfort and encouragement. Take advantage of it and allow people to love you. However, it’s important for our sakes’ and our children’s sakes that we don’t compare our experiences in a way that could be harmful. Not every child is ready to go away to school at the same age, if at all, and no two families share the exact same dynamics.

Take advantage of technology.

Back when I was in college, long distance phone calls cost money, so chats with my family were scheduled things. Now, we can text any time. I’m so glad my daughter can reach me whenever she wishes to, and that I can see her face on FaceTime or Skype! What a huge difference this makes! We also send each other photos of funny things and keep up on social media. I love how we can stay connected this way.

Go Old School.

We may be able to chat over our cell phones any time, but I still send regular old snail mail from time to time. It’s a huge boost to get something in the mail, so we try to fill her postal box now and then! Letters, gift cards for coffee or a movie, and care packages are always welcome. I’ve also ordered her a shirt or two from her favorite retailer and had it shipped to her.

Pursue New (and Old) Interests.

Find something that gives you LIFE, and then do it! Pursue a new (or forgotten) hobby. Try something different. Cook something you like but your child was never crazy about. Be positive and keep moving!

Bio:

Susanne Dietze began writing love stories in high school, casting her friends in the starring roles. Today, she's the award-winning author of over a dozen historical romances who's seen her work on the ECPA and Publisher's Weekly Bestseller Lists for Inspirational Fiction. Married to a pastor and the mom of two, Susanne lives in California and enjoys fancy-schmancy tea parties, genealogy, the beach, and curling up on the couch with a costume drama and a plate of nachos. 

www.susannedietze.com

Facebook.com/SusanneDietzeBooks

Twitter: @Susanne Dietze

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Susie has TWO brand-new releases out: a novella is Seven Brides for Seven Mail-Order Cowboys (June, 2017 from Barbour) AND a novel 
My Heart Belongs in Ruby City, Idaho: Rebecca’s Plight

Here's the blurb from Rebecca's Plight: Is it possible to marry the wrong man? Rebecca Rice was looking forward to a quiet life and a full stomach by becoming mail-order bride to her shopkeeper intended, Mr. Fordham—until the justice of the peace calls him Thaddeus, not Theodore, proceeded by the title Deputy. Rebecca would never marry a lawman like her father, so an annulment seems in order—and fast, since Rebecca’s true intended is impatient to claim her as his own. But when the legalities take longer than expected, Rebecca wonders if Tad Fordham wasn't the right husband for her all along....

Purchase links:
My Heart Belongs in Ruby City, Idaho: Rebecca’s Plight at CBD
on Amazon

at B&N

Susie also has a novella in Seven Brides for Seven Mail-Order Husbands, releasing this week on June 1st! 
Purchase links:

Seven Brides for Seven Mail-Order Husbands (Barbour Publishing, June 2017) Barnes & Noble 

Amazon 

CBD 

Giveaway: We're giving away a copy of choice of either of Susie's new releases! Leave a comment on this post.