Parenting isn't for the faint of heart. And that goes triple for single parenting. I was spared the difficulty of divorce, unlike Candace Calvert our guest this week. Two broken engagements were easier than two divorces. The most difficult job I had in my life was single parenting my nephew when I was a young adult. My older sister's husband divorced her when their son was only two-years-old. It took its toll and he stayed with me for two years,at the same age my son is now which is that transitional time between childhood and the teen years. They didn't call it tween years, though, back then.
And I didn't even carry the load of shame some single parents, like one friend of mine, carried. This dear woman, brought up in a prominent family, was crushed when she was divorced, left with two children, and had to go back to work to provide for them.
I haven't read Janine Turner's book
Holding Her Head High: Inspiration from 12 Single Mothers Who Championed Their Children and Changed History
but it looks great.
Do you have a word of encouragement today for Christian single parents?
I'm so blessed to have grown up in a loving family. My mom and dad are still together and they do great!
ReplyDeleteMy SIL's husband left her over a year ago after 20 yrs of marriage. They are not divorced and we're praying and believing they get back together. This misery brought my SIL to the Lord and therefor we are thankful. The Lord wanted her attention and He has it now.
They don't have children, so I haven't witnessed single parenting from up close.
Praying for your sis, Marian. Both my parents and my husband's were married over 50 years. My parents are with the Lord now.
ReplyDeleteSix years ago, my husband told me he didn't want to be married to me any longer. My children and I moved to be closer to my family. I was in denial for awhile; Christians were not supposed to divorce! And he was an army chaplain at that. Our kids were 10 and 16. Both have struggled, especially our son, the youngest. Two years ago, he made the choice to live with his dad. Through all this, I have had to cling to God and trust him. God has never abandoned me like my husband did. So, that is part of my advice to single parents: let your faith grow stronger; don't give up on God. Also, forgiveness is key, both for your spouse and yourself. It was easy for me to blame my husband since he was the one who wanted out but it was very difficult (but an essential part of my healing) for me to realize and admit that I hadn't always been the best wife so I played a part in the destruction of our marriage as well. My kids, at ages 16 and 22, still struggle because they don't have an intact family. Their dad lives in Utah, I live several states away. My biggest regret is the hurt this has caused my children.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carrie, for the thought provoking post. My heart goes out to single moms; I can't even imagine. When I had my children, my plan was to have a mate right alongside me to help raise them, and he was. My heart goes out to all of the single mothers, whose plans for that went awry for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteI just got the details from one of my friends today of why she quickly went from being married to single. She found out by looking at her hubby's cell phone, that he has been seeing another woman, complete with pics, text messages, the whole nine yards. I tried to encourage her (her self esteem is very low right now), and let her know this is a lack in his character, and has nothing to do with her. She now has several childen to virtually raise alone.
My daughter struggles with being a single mom, and many times the struggle is ours as well. Please pray her up a godly husband, everyone! :)The only word of encouragement I can give here, having not been through this myself, is to hold to God's unchanging hand. He will never leave thee nor forsake thee, and will supply all of your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
PAM K, I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I am glad you have hung onto your faith. Praying God will bring healing and a faithful Christian husband to you and stepfather for your kids.
ReplyDeleteDIANA, yes, let us join hands and pray your daughter walks closely with the Lord and that He brings a godly man to be her hubby and father to your grandson.
ReplyDeleteI have dear friends that are single moms and I am always inspired by them! They spur me on! I would encourage Single Moms to let their needs be known to friends, I do think most friends would be willing to step in in any way, some just don't know when stepping in is butting in! May the Lord bless the work of your words here on this blog! Big Hug!
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS to Jen with the butterfly email addy from Monday's interview! You are another WINNER of Candace Calvert's brand new book, Trauma Plan!!! Candace is enjoying her wedding anniversary and celebrating but look to your email next week for instructions! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteTRACEY, I can tell you have such a loving and giving heart! Bless you! I think when I was single parenting my nephew I wanted to think I could do it all, but I couldn't. To me, anyone willing to do stuff like bring me cookies for him or watch him so I could run an errand, etc., that was so appreciated. Thanks for your blessings!!! and hug!!!
ReplyDeleteYAY! Congrats, JEN! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteTRACEY, thank you for your blessing!
Hello all, I'm at last back from the San Francisco area--and a signing at a Lifeway Christian Store. CARRIE: What a wonderful and touching post--proven by the responses. MARIAN: Yes, what blessing (and sadly rare) an intact family is--how I longed to provide that for my children!
ReplyDeletePAM: My heart aches for you. Your feelings and regrets bring back so many of my own. I hope you find healing and comfort in the truth that God has plans to bring you hope and a future--Jer. 29:11 is a favorite Scripture because it so beautifully speaks to that. I've just returned from a trip to San Francisco that was in part a celebration of a 13th wedding anniversary with my new husband--my beautiful second chance and lovely proof of God's promise.
ReplyDeleteDIANA: I so feel for your friend--it is SO painful. Something that helped me was a phrase I heard (not sure where) during the midst of my despair: "The depths to which you feel pain is also your capacity for JOY." I know now that it is SO true.
ReplyDeleteAMEN, CANDACE, thank you for that scripture for our guest. I love that, one. Congrats on your 13th! God is good!
ReplyDeleteTRACEY: I so appreciate your comments--and especially that you are willing to be such a helpful friend. What a blessing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, CANDACE! The weekend commentaries are my little effort at direct ministry. We have fewer visitors on the weekends but I figure who God needs to be here will be here. I have so much respect for single parents after having done it for only two years.
ReplyDeleteNANCEE is our winner of an ebook this week! Congrats NANCEE, and check your email! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to NANCEE!
ReplyDeleteYay, NANCEE! And blessings to you, CARRIE. God indeed speaks to those in need of hearing. How wonderful is that?
ReplyDeleteCongrats to NANCEE!!
ReplyDelete