MaryLu Tyndall posts at Colonial Quills group blog and on MaryLu's website.
This past week we have interviewed ML and had reviews of her pirate trilogy which recently re-released!
MaryLu shared about abandonment as an issue for herself and as faced by her heroine, Charlisse, in these books.
Here is a really deep post on abandonment: link
My thoughts -
God will never abandon nor leave you. He will never forsake you. Once a Christian gets that in their head a lot of those issues of feeling alone vanish. And I don't trust "Feelings" nor should you as Joyce Meyer reminds us. When you rely upon the Word you can say to the feeling - "I KNOW what God's Word says, and I am never abandoned by my Father for His Word proclaims that truth."
But we live on earth. We want examples of a godly father. For a married person that, truthfully, often translates into who your husband becomes as a father. Therefor a woman needs to choose her Christian husband carefully, as God directs her path, so she can see in her own life, in her own home, what a good father looks like. That isn't to say that her choice will be perfect. We all have free will and who knows what that Christian husband might choose to do. A spouse with abandonment issues needs to be careful not to react when their husband or wife needs extra emotional space, though. Be mindful of your own history so you can deal with it and not dump it on your partner.
There is a void left in your heart, as a child or teen, when a parent leaves, whether through death, abandonment, or for some other reason such as long-term illness or military. The Enemy will tell you that something is needed to fill that void. Yes, that would be God. But Satan will offer up many other alternatives that are meant to destroy not build you up as your Father would. Alcoholism, as addressed in MaryLu's books, is a common example. There are many recovery groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, all over the country, willing to help people turn from a bottle of alcohol as their god to the their higher power, or God for we Christians.
What about you today? Who can you guide toward God and away from the earthly thing they have been using to salve their wounds?
What a deeply moving article, Carrie. As you know, my father was a raging alcoholic day and night. He didn't work, so going to school was my respite. I was always afraid of what he might do next...and could never have friends over. He was never there for me at all, so it was like I didn't have a Father. Just a nasty, foul-mouthed, abusive man living with us under the same roof.
ReplyDeleteI remember the day I forgave my father; it was in my car sitting in a shopping center parking lot of all places. I lay my head on my steering wheel and cried and said, "Daddy, I forgive you. Something awful happened in your life to make you that way, and I forgive you." And I did.
I take much comfort in that scripture in Psalm 27:10-"When my father and my mother forsake me then the Lord will take care of me." My mom didn't forsake me, but she was so busy trying to control my dad, she couldn't be there for me, until my dad passed away, and now she, too, is gone. I'm thankful for a Father who will never abandon me and is mindful of my every need.
My hubby has crew members and we have family members as well, that we are witnessing to, and trying to guide towards God. Thank you for the powerful post, Carrie.
Thanks for this article, Carrie.
ReplyDeleteThankfully in the family I grew up in there was no alcohol abuse. And I'm thankful that I never tried alcohol or drugs.
So beautiful to hear that you were able to forgive your father, Diana. That must have been difficult. It's like you said something awful must have happened in his life. My hubby and I see those things happening around us too.
Hubby and I are working in our church. People who are younger in their faith come to us and we can witness to them about our lives in Christ.
We do encourage drug addicts and ex alcoholics who came to know the Lord. Right now we have a brother in Christ in our church who is using Heroine for 12 years. He hates it and wants to quit. Twelve years is an awful long time using Heroine and it's difficult to quit, but we have a powerful God who can help him through this. We pray that he will come clean.
Carrie thanks for sharing this post, I was raised in a Christian home with both a mom and dad so I can only imagine what that would be like.
ReplyDeleteI did witness my dad's addiction to prescription drugs and alcohol. Thank God he was delivered from the alcohol but he had a lot of health problems that caused him pain and he was addicted to the pain medication. Dad never gave up on God and His help. That's how he was delivered from alcohol, a lot of prayer and fasting.
Thank God for His help, He is always near to His children and all we have to do is ask for what we need. "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." John 14:13
Great article, Carrie. In our culture today where there are so few restrictions on behavior, I fear many young people are growing up in dysfunctional homes. Their hearts are broken and they need the Lord so badly.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear your story Diana. I had no idea. What a blessing to be able to forgive your Dad. After I became a Christian I found out where my Dad was living and sent him a letter telling him that I forgave him. He sent me a card and a hundred dollar bill, never mentioning the forgiveness or why he abandoned me. I never heard from him again. Not sure what the hundred dollar bill was about, but I kept it anyway. LOL.
Marian, bless you and your hubby for working with so many broken people at your church! We need more people like you willing to give of their time and love to help people who are living defeated lives.
And Praise God, Teresa, that your Dad never gave up on God and eventually was delivered! Love those kind of stories!
Have a great weekend, ladies!
The post is so very moving and then the comments - so humbling and inspiring! God really can overcome anything, heroin addiction or alcoholism and much more. I just heard an interview on the rocker, Alice Cooper, who has accepted Christ and has never touched alcohol since! But that was the least of his addictions. As for myself, my father left our home when I was twelve and I do have that void Carrie speaks of. Thankfully I met the Lord at that same time though it took me many years to forgive my father for his actions. He's in heaven now and I look forward to a restored relationship with him there. Thanks so much to MaryLu for writing the beautiful books she writes and to you who've commented here. It sure blesses me.
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie for this post. I am so thankful for growing up in a good Christian home with both my parents. But I am so grieved that the same cannot be said for my two girls. I am terrified about this void that will be in their lives. I have to remember to trust the Lord and pray that they will choose Him to fill this void very early in their lives.
ReplyDeleteDiana - I'm so glad you were able to forgive your father and be released from that pain.
Teresa - so encouraging to hear your dad was delivered from the alcohol :)
Laura - Alice Cooper accepted Christ? Wow, I did not know that! These are the things that should be headlining magazines, not all the other stuff. I'm glad you too were able to forgive your dad eventually.
MARYLU, because of authors such as yourself, sharing about the issues God has helped them deal with, we are encouraged by both the testimonies and the manifestation of that healing in writing as well. So DIANA, TERESA, and I when we are reviewing also have more insight into the stories, too.
ReplyDeleteDIANA, I have sensed that one of the reasons you are so sensitive to the needs of others and are so grateful to God for all He has done for you, is because of what you went through with your earthly father. Dontcha wonder what we might be like if God didn't give us these challenges? He promises to use all things for our good, praise God!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, MARIAN, praying across the waters to the Netherlands that this man will be delivered from the trap of heroin. And praise God that He spared you from this in your own life. In all things give thanks.
ReplyDeleteMARYLU, you can be sure that hundred dollar bill meant SOMETHING to your father. I don't know what, but he was trying to send you a message. For him, a hundred dollar bill could have meant a huge gift you gave your kid (assuming he was a Great Depression era-born parent). I think to my own father it would have meant something like that. He paid off the very last payment on my car - that meant something to him, and to me as well.
ReplyDeleteTERESA, those prescription drugs can be more dangerous than alcohol. Had a close family member almost die from that. Had a friend die from excess meds and a client's father. People might be more aware of that after Michael Jackson's death, but I DK. And alcohol is so easily available and acceptable that even my 9-year-old son talks about that and we do not have alcohol in our home.
ReplyDeleteLAURA, God fills those voids that no one and nothing else can fully fill, with perfect healing and love. So glad He has done that for you! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteHELEN, I do not know your current life situation, but I am praying for God to meet your needs. I hope your girls are getting to attend a church where they are being fed God's Word! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteGRACE was our winner this week for the drawing!!! An email was sent to the address Grace left for us. Congrats!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Grace! I know you will enjoy your book by ML Tyndall!
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