I recently finished a
wonderful new novel called A Love Surrendered by one of my favorite authors, Julie Lessman, in which the
hero in the book suffered from such shame and guilt over his past, he simply
could not move on. His relationships with his friends were stagnant. He couldn't
have a meaningful relationship with a young lady, and he couldn't even have one
with God – or so he thought. Just a book character . . . right? Christians in real
life aren't plagued by shame and guilt . . . wrong! After talking with many
Christian and non-Christian women and family members I knew I HAD to write this
post.
Us women are all so different—some of us
like fishing, others cooking, gardening, hiking and one of my Facebook friends
loves riding four wheelers (not me!). But one thing we all have in common is a
past. The past is anything that happened before today. One may carry guilt over
something that happened just yesterday, a year ago, or perhaps something that
occurred in their childhood—and 30 plus odd years down the road it's still
weighing them down. Some may harbor guilt or shame concerning events in their
lives before they came to Christ, still others after they became a Christian.
Many unfortunately bear the heavy burden of shame concerning sin that someone
perpetrated against them.
Satan uses guilt and shame as a ploy to get
the believer to think about past failures and to cause them to see themself in a
distorted light. And he uses it with unbelievers as well – to make them feel
unworthy of salvation. His objective is to keep us looking back at our past
failures so much, that we begin to see ourselves as failures – the complete
opposite of what we really are! How can we move forward with God with one foot
still chained to the past? Remember Lot's wife who dared to look back (Genesis
19:26)—and thank God we live under the new covenant!
The woman at the well (John 4) was living a
shameful life when she happened upon Jesus that fateful day. He told her she had
been married umpteen times and the man she was now living with was not her
husband. Did He condemn her? No, He was just telling her the facts and He told
her how to get free! I'm convinced she repented, picked up a broom, beat that
man out of her house, and lived a new life free from guilt and condemnation of
the past. Romans 8:1 says—There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION to them
which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the
Spirit!
The first step in freeing ourselves from
the sins and guilt of the past – if we haven't done so already – is to repent and make Jesus the Lord of our lives. Simply ask Him to forgive you, come into
your heart, and life, and make a new creature out of you—and He will! 2
Corinthians 5:17 says—Therefore if any man (or woman – my words) be in
Christ, he/she is a new creature: old things are passed away; Behold all things
are become new! ALL
things!!!
The second step is asking forgiveness for
not forgiving one's self for a past that is under the blood. A preacher said
something so simple and profound one day that it literally changed my life and
my whole thought process. He said that when a person will not forgive himself
for the past and continues to carry guilt and shame over it, it is saying that
Jesus' blood was not enough for us. Though He took upon Him the sin and shame
of the whole world and shed His life's blood that we might find forgiveness –
we are saying His blood wasn't enough; if we won't forgive ourselves. My shame and
guilt were a thing of the past when I heard that. However . . .
The third step is to think about those
things no more. Let them go! When satan tries to remind you of your past –
remind him of his future! In Micah, God tells us that all of our sins are cast
into the depth of the sea, never to be remembered any more by Him. I don't want
to dredge them all the way up from there . . . do you? Hebrews 8:12 says—"For I
will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities
will I remember no more." Now that
our past has been blotted out, it's time to forget it, and as Philippians 3:13
says—Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those
things which are before; I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ
Jesus!
I would be remiss here if I didn't address
something to you that I had personally battled over for years . . . guilt and shame
over things that were perpetrated against you that were not your fault. Jesus
bore the stripes, the shame and shed His blood for that, too. We may not
understand why that had to happen to us, but we live in a sinful, fallen world
and some day we will be rewarded for all the tears we have shed because of
another's sinful actions. Kneel at the cross and leave your guilt and shame at
his nail scarred feet. Give it to Him and He will carry it for you. It's too
heavy for us to bear, brothers and sisters, but He already bore it for us
at Calvary's cross.
I end this post with tears streaming down
my cheeks as I know firsthand the suffering that some of you have carried around
for years. Let's kneel before the King together and walk forward hand in hand
with our heads held high, for after all, we are Princes and Princesses—children
of the most High, the King of Kings and the Lord of
Lords!
