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| Laura Frantz |
Aging Gracefully
When I was a little girl, I memorized the Scriptures that told children
to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1: Children,
obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.) Now I think more often of
the 5th commandment in Deuteronomy: Honor thy father and mother that it may be well with thee, and thou
mayest live long on the earth. The emphasis for younger children is to “obey”
their parents while the focus for adult children is to “honor” their parents.
Recently my mom and step-dad decided to move from Kentucky to Washington
State to be closer to me and my family. Since leaving their Kentucky home,
several things have happened which have made it hard for them to adjust to a
long-distance move. My step-dad was diagnosed with dementia soon after they
arrived as well as having a history of heart disease, the latter which has
required numerous surgeries and hospitalizations the last 20 years. And my mom,
though more able-bodied, is aging quickly and struggling with arthritis and
fulltime care-giving.
Now that I live so much more closely to them, I’m struck by the things
that makes aging challenging. Roles are often reversed as adult children become
the caretakers and fixers and helpers and comforters of parents. People often
become more childlike as they grow older. They need help with basic needs, they
lose and break things, are unable to do things and require help. They can be
fearful and emotional like children. Impulse control lessens and they can
strike out like children and say things they wouldn’t otherwise. Challenging,
yes!
The Lord knew all this would happen as we are His creation. That’s where
the concept of “honoring your parents” becomes so interesting to me. What does
this look like? For me, it involves praying daily for wisdom and finding ways
to honor them and make them feel loved and respected. It means never belittling
their concerns or making light of their struggles. It means responding with
patience when I’m interrupted or have to repeat myself or try to hunt for that
lost item again or repeat a task with them that has been done many times before.
It means loving them no matter what with a Christ-like love, much as they did
for me when I was little and needed them.
I love what Charles Wesley said about honoring parents below:
Honor
thy father and mother - Hast thou not been irreverent or undutiful to either?
Hast thou not slighted their advice? Hast thou cheerfully obeyed all their
lawful commands? Hast thou loved and honored their persons? Supplied their
wants, and concealed their infirmities? Hast thou wrestled for them with God in
prayer?
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