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| Carol Urton |
Carol Urton Guest Post
When Carrie asked me to do a guest post on Overcoming With God about a topic in my book, I was overwhelmed. How can I pick just one topic? I decided on one area most people struggle with when dealing with hurts from their past. Numerous people tell me the thing that has a stronghold on their lives is the ability to forgive the person, or people, who hurt them.
I was abandoned at age two by my father. Shortly after, I was thrust into a life of unrelenting sexual abuse and child pornography when my mother remarried a deacon in our local church. After nine years I finally brought this dark family secret into light, only to be silenced and sent away to live with my grandparents. At age 14 I began the journey of trying to find peace among the shattered pieces of my life.
After years of running from the truth, I had to face my past. I began to try and answer my biggest question. ”Where Was God?” But there wasn’t an easy answer to that question and the abandonment I felt from God was not easily solved. But I knew I had to make a choice, I had to choose life and I had to make a choice to be free. And it is a choice to begin a process of recovery, not a quick fix. Through this process was the realization that in order to truly be free, I had to forgive. I had a lot to learn about forgiveness. Here are a few questions I battled with and the short version of the answers God gave me:
What if the person is not sorry? Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. The people in my life that hurt me never did acknowledge any harm done, nor did they ever say they were sorry.
What if I don’t feel forgiveness in my heart? Take a step and do it anyway. Feelings come and go, God tells us to forgive . . . He will take care of the rest.
What if the other person does not accept your forgiveness? After my well thought out speech I gave the person who did the most damage in my life, he simply replied, “Tough break for you kid.”
What if I still feel angry after I forgive? Forgiveness is not an instant remedy. I had to ask God to help me forgive, time after time after time.
The people I forgave are all still the same today as they were yesterday. But I am growing and I am living in the wonderful grace of God. I finally had to realize that if I didn’t forgive, if I was going to wait for the debt they owed me to be repaid, I would be tied to them forever. Once I forgave their debts, no matter how underserving they were, I cut the tie that kept us bound together. What did taking this life-changing step do for me? It set me FREE.
Carol Urton is an Author and national lecturer. She has been invited to speak at numerous conferences, workshops and retreats. She has been a featured guest on several radio and television programs. Her long awaited book, "Where is God? When Hope Hurts" was released in January 2013.
www.carolurton.wordpress.com
Giveaway: Carol is giving away a copy of her book to one of our readers. Please leave a comment and your email address to enter.
Giveaway: Carol is giving away a copy of her book to one of our readers. Please leave a comment and your email address to enter.
