Whom Shall I Fear?
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

This is the definition of the word FEAR found in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary; FEAR verb\'fir\ : to be afraid of (something or someone) : to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant): to be afraid and worried. FEAR noun : an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger : a feeling of being afraid: a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful.

Fear; a tiny four letter word that packs a powerful punch; it's an emotion we have all known since the day we were born. Did you know that fear is part of our sinful-Adam nature and NOT something that GOD wants for our lives? 2Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. If we let satan instill fear in our lives he will use it to drive out the love of GOD and to torment us. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

If Carlton and I had given in to the fear that satan tried to spew over our lives, neither one of us would be living in the favor GOD has for us. Does satan try to make me afraid and bring all kinds of "what-ifs" to my mind? Of course he does but do I dwell on them? NO, absolutely not! A few weeks ago, I was praising GOD for all He has done for us since June, when these thoughts came to mind;
when the Children of Israel were at the Red Sea and they thought that Pharaoh was coming to take them back to Egypt they were shaking in their tracks. Even when GOD rolled back the waters and made a dry path for them to walk through I am sure there were ones that could only focus on the fact that Pharaoh was hot on their heels and there was a huge wall of water surrounding them; they couldn't see the miracle GOD was performing or the salvation that awaited them on the other side. Even after Moses told them "...Fear ye not,stand still,and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you today: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen today, ye shall see them again no more forever." Exodus 14:13, I'm sure some were still blinded by their dire circumstances.

This is exactly what satan wants us to do; focus on the circumstances that surround us and not focus on the way of escape that our Great and Mighty GOD has made for us. I have made up my mind that I serve a powerful GOD that is fully in charge of my life and there is absolutely no place in my life for fear. If we give place to fear we take our lives out of GOD's hands and it's like a slap to His face. Personally I want to know that GOD is taking care of me because He has seen every aspect of my life even before I was born and He definitely has my best interest at heart!

The only part of the definition of fear I want to work in my life is "a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful" which is a fear of my Heavenly Father...JEHOVAH JIREH my Provider, and JEHOVAH RAPHA, my healer!

Here are some scriptures that deal with fear. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage , fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Psalm 34:7 The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

Psalm 115:11 Ye that fear the LORD, trust in the LORD: he is their help and their shield.

Psalm 118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear : what can man do unto me?

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed ; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Romans 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry , Abba, Father.

Hebrews 13:5-6 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have : for he hath said , I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say , The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

1 Peter 3:13-14 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled ;
~TSM~

Update on Carlton
This past week has been a roller-coaster of emotions in the Mathews' household. We went to Charleston knowing Carlton was going to have a stem cell transplant in a few days. When we got there he had blood work and a bone marrow biopsy. He signed release after release, each sounding more ominous than the previous one. There were so many things that could go wrong but in the end If all went going to plan Carlton would be in remission and cancer free for at least 2-3 years, GOD willing even longer.

During the middle of the hubbub I asked the Nurse what his numbers were and when she looked them up we were all shocked to know they had risen over 300 points in a little over two weeks. After getting his bone marrow results back it was decided the transplant had to be postponed.

The question WHY kept coming to my mind. The answer from the Lord has been more than abundantly clear...it wasn't the right time. Scripture after Scripture has been brought to my attention, to remind us that GOD hasn't forgotten what we are going through. I want you all to know we are NOT giving up on Carlton's Divine Healing...We have given this to GOD to perform a miracle in HIS time! It may be through the use of this new chemo he started last week. It may be by another way that we haven't even thought about; either way I am STANDING FIRM on all the Scripture He has brought to my mind, and the peace that only HE can give!! Thank you once again for all the support and prayers that I know are going up for Carlton.
 ~~TSM~~

JEHOVAH JIREH...The Lord Our Provider

JEHOVAH JIREH...The Lord Our Provider 

 But my God shall supply all your need according     

to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

In the seven weeks since we started on this journey with Carlton being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma there have been numerous times GOD has shown himself to be JEHOVAH JIREH...The Lord Our Provider.  

When we first found out about the cancer we were worrying about how we would pay the huge insurance deductible. I called the insurance company to inquire how the insurance would pay for the chemo because the doctor's office thought we would have to meet the deductible. The lady from the insurance company was very polite and helpful; she told me if the chemo was administered in the doctor's office it there would be a $40 co-pay for each treatment and the deductible wouldn't be required.  Later we also found out that the Leukemia/ Lymphoma Foundation had a grant we qualified for that would pay the co-pays. So all we have had to pay is $40 once every three weeks when Carlton sees the doctor. The co-pays for the chemo have been paid by the grant. GOD has truly been our Jehovah Jireh.

It never ceases to amaze me when I pick up my Bible there is always something "new" that catches my attention. I have been taking my Bible with me when I take Carlton for his treatments and it seems every morning GOD has provided some encouraging word for us. I want to share some of those scriptures that I have been relying on during this time: Psalm 28:6-9, Psalm 62:5-8, Psalm 115:13-15, Psalm 116:1-9, Jeremiah 29:11-13. 

Carlton has gotten more good news since my last update; the protein levels they use to track his cancer have dropped 362 points since starting his treatments. The doctor told us that he might be on chemo for 2 years; it will depend on whether he has a stem cell transplant or not. He will be going to the hospital in Charleston, SC possibly as early as next month to talk to about it. Once again we are going to rely on GOD providing everything we need during this time. Carlton has used all of his sick leave at his work so he will not be paid during the time he is having the transplant but as I have said since day one.......GOD'S GOT THIS!!

Prayer Request: We have met numerous people while at the infusion center that are in desperate need of prayer. This week we met a young couple that the husband was going to be admitted to the hospital for his treatments. His wife was very cautious in even saying what stage his cancer was, she mentioned Proverbs 18:21, so I knew she was a believer. I would ask that you please join with us in prayer for this family. I don't know their names but I know that GOD does.