Stolen Time -- A "Symptom" by Carrie Fancett Pagels
I've been wanting to write this post for a long time. But so much of my time has been "stolen" that I didn't even feel well enough to write a blog post on how with autoimmune diseases a common symptom is in losing time. You're not really losing the time. It passes. But its as if it is stolen, because you can never get it back. And you're unable to do much.
Don't get me wrong. I agree that all of our time, every bit of it, belongs to God. And He has His purposes. But as a mom, wife, and author it often feels as though that time I could be doing something good for my family and for God is snatched away by the devil. I don't know why God allows it.
For people with autoimmune problems there are ups and downs in energy and in pain. When I've had several decent days in a row (which for a healthy person would probably seem like a slow few days) then I (being the type who can tend toward denial) start making "big" plans for myself. I'll admit it, sometimes I don't consult God, and that's when I can get in trouble.
I am truly blessed to have a teenaged son, whose days at school help me keep track of the days as they progress, because I sometimes have weeks, like this one, which seem almost as if they didn't happen. Then I look at the calendar and go, "How did it get to be this date? Is that right?" My poor husband tells me, "Yes." It feels like the time has been stolen away from me.
In my latest published work, "Love's Escape", in The Captive Brides Collection from Barbour (October, 2017), my heroine, Lettie, has had her life stolen from her. She's a slave. So she's not been free to make choices for any of her time. Lettie has no reason to trust in a God who has kept her enslaved. So when she finally has the chance to escape, who can she rely on?
God is the author of our time and our lives, if we lean into Him. In my story, Lettie has to accept God's love and trust Him to restore her. I'm the author of Lettie's life and I know I can give her back not only twofold but multi times over what was taken from her. And God's Word tells us He will give us back double for what we have lost. I have found on some of my "good" days that it is as if God is doing the work, doing the writing for me as my fingers fly over the MackBook keyboard. And I'm amazed and grateful. Maybe instead of focusing on the lost time, it would be better to celebrate what He is going to do when He restores that time! He certainly did that in July during our trip to Mackinaw City and I'm trusting in Him to do what He would have done in my life.
Giveaway: A paperback copy of The Captive Brides Collection with my novella, "Love's Escape," Lettie's story. Answer this question: When have you felt like your time couldn't be restored and then God gave you extra help and/or energy to accomplish His will?