|Author Andrea Boeshaar|
A War Within
By Andrea Boeshaar
When I began researching my novel Lily’s Dilemma, for the “My Heart Belongs” series from Barbour Publishing, I was surprised to learn that the War of 1812 is often referred to as the Second War of Independence. During this conflict, we were fighting against British constraints on American trade so the war was largely fought at sea, although our Capitol was burned and harbors in Baltimore and Alexandria were attacked. Moreover British ships were attacking American vessels and impressing Americans into serving in His Majesty’s Royal Navy—an act that enraged Americans all the more.
But as much as I love history, I wanted my novel to address Atychiphobia (the fear of failure). I won’t lie: I struggle with it from time to time. I believe everyone does.
Before writing Lily I all but believed that God took away my ability to write because of a bad experience with an editor who erased my voice out of my book and inserted her own. Her comments throughout my manuscript demoralized me and left me feeling unsure. The publisher then let me know just how disappointed the higher-ups were with me and that was all I could take. My literary agent stepped in to defend me and negotiations ensued regarding ending my relationship with that particular publisher. At that point, I was certain I’d never write another book.
But then while reading a novel that touched my heart, I decided to reach out to the author. We corresponded and I confided in her about what was going on. I further explained that I had a contract to fufill (Lily’s Dilemma). We decided to become critique partners and my prayers, her encouragement, along with other friends’ kind words helped me to see that God hadn’t pulled His gracious gift from me. In fact, God had never given up on me even if a Christian publishing house did. I believe God used my sweet critique partner to help me move forward, both in my writing and in my spiritual life. I soon realized it was my fear of failure that hindered me from writing, so I decided to address it – Atychiphobia – in my story. You’ll find my character Mac struggling with the fear of failing as he sets out to make a life for himself in the Shenandoah Valley.
To date, Lily’s Dilemma has gotten wonderful reviews on Amazon. Readers have stated, “Excellent Story,” “I love historical novels and this one did not disappoint…” and “this story was amazing and was brilliantly written.”
What? Really? Such encouragement has been like salve to my wounded heart.
What about you? Are you your own worst enemy? Is your fear holding you back from accomplishing great things for the kingdom of God? If so, face your fears by acknowledging them in prayer. Do a search in the Bible and find out how many times God says, “Fear not…”
Then strap on your spiritual seatbelt because the Lord has a wild and wonderful ride ahead!
Giveaway: A copy of My Heart Belongs in the Shenandoah Valley: Lily's Delimma.