Overcoming the Tendency to Compare -- By Tamera Alexander

Guest Post by Tamera Alexander

I was recently asked to share what I would say to my younger writing self if I could go back in time, and one of the things I’d share with the Tamera of 2006 (the year my first novel was published) is this:

Determine to truly rejoice with fellow writers when they achieve success, no matter what comes your way. Rejoicing with them—versus being jealous, hurt, or begrudging—will add exponential joy to your journey. And to theirs.

It’s taken me years to learn that truth, but doing so has completely changed my perspective. I’m not saying I have it mastered. Not hardly. But one thing is clear: envy is a slippery slope. And comparing yourself to others only feeds that veritable monster.

Envy is one of the few sins that offers zero pleasure to the sinner. Envy leaves you empty, brooding, and bitter. And there’s no place for it in a believer’s life. Why? Because in Hebrews 12:1-2, the Creator of the universe tells me he’s mapped out a specific course for my life. Just as he’s done for yours.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."

The race God has set before us. The race I’m running is by his design. His sovereignty.

And yet…

Have you ever found yourself glancing at the lane next to yours only to see the gal running beside you—who, incidentally,  is slimmer, more attractive, has to-die-for calves, and doesn’t sweat when she runs (don’t you wish triple latte calories on women like that?!)—and you think, "Why can’t I look more like her when I’m running? Why can’t I be running her race? Her path looks so much smoother than mine."

I have. And that’s the definition of comparison.

Remember the poem Desiderata that was popular back in the 70s? This particular line has stayed with me all these years:

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Comparing ourselves to others either leaves us with an overinflated ego or bitter with envy. God revealed to me years ago that the seed of my "comparing heart" was rooted in a lack of gratitude and I asked him then to make me more grateful. And he has. But the process has been painful.

But one thing that’s helped me—and notice the scripture above gives us this answer—is to keep my eyes on Jesus. Not on the others running around me.

Yes, I’m to help you when I see you stumble or fall, I’m to cheer you on when you’re doing well (and hope you’ll do the same for me). But bottom line, I’m to keep my eyes on my eternal champion. And not so oddly, it’s next to impossible to be jealous of others’ accomplishments when my eyes are firmly on Christ and I’m grateful for the race he has me running.

Do you struggle with a comparing heart as I still do on occasion? What helps you to keep your focus where it needs to be?

CFP: Thanks for being with us, Tamera, especially considering how busy you are right now! I wonder how many authors out there are comparing themselves with you?

Giveaway: We're giving away two copies this week of Tamera Alexander's new release from Zondervan, To Win Her Favor. (Void where prohibited by law. Includes international readers if Book Depository ships to your address.) Answer Tamera's question to enter. We announce the winner in a week in the upper right hand corner of this blog so come back to check!