Carla Olson Gade -- Overcoming Grief

In my novella "Proving Up” in The Homestead Brides Collection, my hero and heroine each have experiences with grief. Elsa has lost her husband and her loss propels her into action. Although she is lonely, she will not forsake his dream and lose the homestead that they have worked so hard to keep. She also has a younger brother and brother-in-law she is responsible for and wishes to see educated.

Nils’ grief is a different sort. It is an unrelenting longing for an absent wife who abandoned life on the prairie, leaving him with unresolved heartache. His solution is to continue to cultivate his claim in the hopes that someday he will be rewarded with her love and companionship. When he is confronted with the permanence of his unrealized hope, grief ensues again.

Elsa and Nils’s circumstances are vastly different from one another, but as they develop a relationship an empathetic bond is formed. It is God’s providence that they become friends, especially in such a time and place where people were so isolated. Homesteads were miles from one another and communities were just beginning to develop. But isn’t that how grief is, isolating?

At least that is how I have felt over the past several years. Just a year ago on Valentine’s Day, I buried my father and only three years before that my step-father died from the same disease. During my life I have also experienced the grief of lost relationships, a type of grieving for the living. That too is a severe loss, not comparable to death, but a death of a relationship nonetheless.

At first my grief felt very isolating. Like I was on my own remote homestead miles away from anyone who understood what I was feeling or going through. That feeling of isolation added to my grief.

The isolation was like the broken blade of a prairie windmill. A windmill that once produced energy, suddenly halted.

Last year I attended a grief support group at my church called GriefShare. One thing that I learned that really helped me was the acknowledgement that each loss is unique because our relationship to that person is unique. How true that is. My own personal grief was different than others because of the unique dynamics of my own relationship with my lost loved one. But although my grieving is unique, it needn’t isolate me, unless I let it.

Along with grief comes change. But adapting to that change and accepting that things are now different makes the loss more real, and therefore, we are sometimes resistant to it. We refuse to repair the broken blade through acceptance because it is too painful. Yet in reality, the winds of acceptance allow us to heal. Grief takes its own time, but we needn’t bear it alone. When we allow others to share in our experience of loss, we discover life again.

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Have you experienced a season of grief? Did you find yourself pulling away from others or reaching out?

Author Carla Olson Gade

“Proving Up” by Carla Olson Gade from The Homestead Brides Collection (Barbour)

Swedeberg, Nebraska, 1886
A young Swedish widow applies her scientific theories to growing trees on the barren Great Plains intruding on a handsome homesteader’s hard work and experience. Will their dreams come to ruin or will love prove their success?

The Homestead Brides Collection can be ordered here: http://tinyurl.com/provingup

Native New Englander Carla Olson Gade writes adventures of the heart with historical roots from her home amid the rustic landscapes of Maine. With seven books in print, she is always imaging more stories and enjoys bringing her tales to life with historically authentic settings and characters. An avid reader, amateur genealogist, photographer, and house plan hobbyist, Carla’s great love (next to her family) is historical research. Though you might find her tromping around an abandoned homestead, an old fort, or interviewing a docent at a historical museum, it’s easier to connect with her online at carlaolsongade.com.

https://www.facebook.com/CarlaOlsonGade
http://carlaolsongade.com


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