Marian's Testimony

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

As a six year old girl I expected to see the Lord Jesus return at any moment. Every morning I woke up and looked out of my window to see if He had come yet. He didn’t come and somewhere along the years my expectation died. Then as a teenager I was hanging out with the wrong friends and I didn’t care about God anymore. In that time I did many things I would regret later, but when I look back now I can see God was at work in my life – even in that period of time where I didn’t want anything to do with Him. He surely has protected me from many more and worse things then what I already did.

About six months before I would meet my future husband I started to cry out to God. I was living in great fear. I was convinced that I would go to hell when I died. I was afraid to go to sleep and never wake up again. This period was the most fearfull time of my life.

Then I met my future husband. He just got saved and told me how important it is to believe God. They were not magical words, but for me they were! I could not forget those words. Shortly after that I took a shower and was able to lay all my fear and sin at the foot of the Cross. After the shower I was born again and I felt clean—inside and out.

Letting go of all the things I had done was not easy. I am grateful to God that after about 4 years of marriage, He arranged for us to meet our present pastor. The Lord used him to show me how much He loved me, how much He wanted me not to worry and just enjoy my life with Him. I had to let go of my worries and learn to trust God. I found out that it was easier said than done. How often did I give my problems to God and after I said ‘amen’ I took them all back again. The issue was that I didn’t trust God with my problems. I still thought I had to solve them by myself – perhaps even thought I could do it better.

As some of you might know I suffer from a joint ailment—I have a lot of pain in my joints and muscles. I have seen many physical therapists and tried tons of orthotics. Nothing solved the problem.

James 5 verse 14 & 15 tells us: “Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. ” 

So we asked our pastor to anoint me. It was a very special experience – I really felt the touch of God. I finally surrendered myself to God and expected Him to guide my life. The next day I had to put my beloved rabbit to sleep. It was a sad day, but the day after that I felt blessed and was delighted in the Lord. I felt so loved that at times I thought I could take no more. I had a constant smile on my face that I couldn’t hide – even if I wanted to. My husband found it difficult to handle this, because I was so different. This period lasted over a month. It was the most glorious experience I had with God. I have had times of great delight in the Lord after that, but they didn’t last that long. Most of the time they happened after a time of great oppression. God gives us these moments when we need it—to encourage us. I can rest and be assured that He loves me and He will never leave me nor forsake me. I might not have received physical healing – but God knows what is good for His child and I trust Him to know what He is doing. The spiritual blessing was more than I could ever hope for and it’s more precious to me than a physical healing without His blessing.

Surrendering your life to God sounds easy, but bringing it into practice is not as easy as it may sound. You really have to let go of everything and place it in Gods hands. It is a process and it’s something that will come back again and again. But a life surrendered to God is a life of peace and rest. That doesn’t mean you won’t run into difficulties again. Those things happen to educate us and let us grow in faith. Just put it all in Gods hands and let Him handle it.

So glad to know that I stand redeemed before God!

I Stand Redeemed by Legacy Five