08 July 2012

MaryLu Tyndall Speaks on Popularity


To be popular or not to be popular, that is the question


Our culture is obsessed with fame and popularity. Just look at all the reality shows that have sprung up over the past twenty years where ordinary people compete to win a prize and potentially become famous. Survivor, The Great Race, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, to name just a few. Everyone wants to be famous! To be a star! To have people accept them, love them, and give them value. Honestly, who wouldn’t want that? It feeds a deep ravenous need within all of us to be somebody, not just another of the billion or so people who inhabit the planet. We want to be special. To be unique and valued. We want what God has implanted in each of our hearts—to be loved unconditionally for who we are.
This need begins to truly manifest itself in High School. At least it did for me. If your High School was anything like mine, it didn’t take long for each kid to be assigned a label. Jock, Cool, Skater, Grunge, Emo, Nerd, and a million other “groups” which separated everyone and predetermined their behavior based on stereotypical ideas.  My shyness and good grades automatically put me somewhere between the nerd and weirdo groups, where I stayed my entire High School years! At the time, I thought that was entirely unfair and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t join the “cool” and “popular” kids. They got all the attention, got invited to all the parties, had all the fun. (Or so it seemed). I wanted to badly to be accepted in their group—to be liked. But that never happened.
This longing to be valued extended well into my adult years as I grew and matured and tried to fashion myself, both in speech, dress, and behavior, into the kind of person who would fit in with the crowd everyone liked and looked up to.  For a while I even succeeded. I began dating a man who was in that crowd, and I quickly became one of them.  But I was still empty inside. Hanging out with these people wasn’t me. I didn’t enjoy the things they did, the parties, the dinners, the conversation. In truth, I wanted so badly for them to like me, that I had molded myself into someone completely unrecognizable. And in the process I had denied the unique-self God made me to be.  In essence, I made these people my God instead of worshiping my Creator.

This is the theme of my new release, Veil of Pearls. The fear of man. The Bible says that “The fear of man brings a snare”. When you crave human opinion and accolades more than you crave God, then you have a problem with the fear of man.  And if you continue down that course the results can be a devastating—a complete loss of the person God made you to be and a gnawing emptiness inside. Not to mention the worse result of all, a weakening of your relationship with God himself.
That’s what happens to Adalia, the heroine in my story. She hid her heritage, the essence of who she was, in order to become part of the Charleston Elite—to enjoy their lavish lifestyle of delicacies, parties, plays, and the approval of people who wouldn’t have given her the time of day before. But in the process, she lost touch with God.
Fortunately for Adalia (and for me!), we both came to our senses and returned to the only ONE who can fill that need for value. God Himself. He is the answer to this burning desire to be somebody. You see, everyone is somebody in His kingdom! He knew who you would be, all your talents, quirks, personality, likes, dislikes, humor, etc., before he even formed you in your mother’s womb. You are unique and precious to Him. He has something He needs you to do here on earth that only You can do. He loves you boundlessly. Maybe you’ve heard that before. Maybe you haven’t, but once you really believe it and get it deep down inside of you, you won’t have any desire for fame or praise from anyone else this world but God! 


MaryLu's books can be found on CBD, Amazon, Lifeway, Barnes and Noble, and other book stores.

GIVEAWAY:  Leave a comment and your email to be entered in this week’s contest.  Drawing will be late Saturday.  Your choice of MaryLu’s books, choice of format*. Void where prohibited by law. *International winners will only receive the book in ebook format not as a paperback. Two winners will be drawn this week.

65 comments:

  1. Great post! This is something I know I struggled with badly in high school. As I get older though I'm realizing how much happier I am being exactly who God wanted me to be, with the people who love me just the way I am.

    ecriggs1990(at)aol(dot)com

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  2. I was really struck by this post when I received it. MARYLU, there is so much sincerity and seriousness in this post. I imagine as a multi-published author you encounter this all the time and have to rise about the hoopla. May God bless you for sharing!

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  3. MaryLu thank you so much for this wonderful post. I am so glad you came back to your Father. His plans are always better than we could ever imagine. Had you not I might not have read all of your wonderful books. :) GOD is so GOOD!

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  4. Great post—LOVE the theme! I just ordered Veil of Pearls and can't wait to read it! Blessings and thank you, MaryLu!

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  5. ELAINE, you are going to LOVE this book! ML should be back from her 20th anniversary trip and we hope to see her commenting back tomorrow. Blessings!

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  6. TERESA, isn't the cover of this book "to die for" lol and no disrespect to our Creator intended. I ordered a physical copy so I could look at it. Gorgeous, like the book!

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  7. Great article! It's sad the way culture sweeps us up in its empty hype. The book is beautiful and I would love to read this.

    brendon8@bellsouth.net

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  8. Hello Ladies! Forgive me for my late response. I was out of town until late last night and seem to have caught some bug. :-( Anyway, I'm glad my post blessed you. I'm still in Work in Progress on this front but God is good and faithful to complete the work He has begun in me. Do you all know how valuable you are to Him?? Valuable enough to sacrifice His only Son. :-) Remembering that has really helped me.

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  9. MaryLu, thank you for such an honest, sincere post. When I was in 7th grade, I had to start wearing glasses and braces -- what a mess I thought I was! I remember one of my church youth directors reminding me that I was a daughter of the King, special in his eyes, fashioned the way He wanted me to be. I'm not sure I truly knew what the director meant at the time, but it heartened me. I'm reading Veil of Pearls now (about halfway through) and it has really drawn me in.

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  10. MaryLu, fantastic post! The desire to belong...that's a hard one NOT to relate to. Thanks for sharing your story. Hope you get to feeling better soon. :)

    bookwarp(at)gmail(dot)com

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  11. I knew i would love Veil of pearls, when you wrote Dedicated to everyone who has longed to be one of the ''in'' crowd.
    Just like Adalia i may have looked the part of the in crowd at times, in my heart i was not.
    I appreciate how you gave this character Adalia the same struggle that men and women all over have. Who am i, and would a person really love me if they knew the ''real'' me, if they knew who i really was.
    Thank you Jesus for your steadfast, unconditional love.
    I don't have to be part of the ''in'' crowd for Jesus to accept me. I can be the book nerd i really am. :D

    Hollie757@hotmail.com

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  12. Thank you for this post, MaryLu. I can't imagine anyone as petite and pretty as you, not being in the "highroller" group as we called them in High School.

    I think most of us struggled with this, especially in our younger years, and I was so thrilled to see your characters evolve in VoP, and find out who they really are and where they belong. It's hard to know where one fits, when as a child one is abused as I was, as Adalia was, and even Morgan was verbally abused. I'm glad we all found our way. :)

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  13. The subject of this book is relevant to all my close friends. We were each wounded during the high school years with trying to fit in and never quite being accepted. This same type of feeling continued with me even in the work world. I worked with some people who had not been to college, and they still seemed to function on that same level. And some churches even have these same type of "in groups" and "out groups."

    Yes, MaryLu, your book is uniquely relevant and should be read by many! Thank you for the opportunity to possibly win it in this contest.

    Blessings, Janice jsmithg(at)hotmail(dot)com

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  14. Love this post MaryLu. I think this is something we continue to struggle with all our lives. Particularly when you are naturally shy and overlooked, you want so desperately to be part of the 'popular' group. I know I had this weird internal struggle because I wanted to be popular in high school, but at the same time I knew I didn't like the popular kid's lifestyle. We are strange creatures, us humans!

    Susan - I love how you were reminded you are a daughter of the King. My mum used to say the same thing to us - reminding us that we're "royalty". Although I think she was using it to remind us about our conduct ... lol ... but it's something I've had to remind myself of in the context of how special I am, in more recent years.

    Oh ladies, don't enter me in the contest :) You know I've already won a copy of Veil of Pearls and can't wait for it to arrive!

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  15. I am so glad you wrote a book with the theme you did. As a part of the unpopular group in my youth I truly appreciate it. I look forward to reading it.

    ldwrncpn@comcast.net

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  16. Your words are music to my ears and salve to my soul. He made us who we are. Who am I to say He did it wrong? Thanks MaryLu.

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  17. I Loved your Post Marylu, I was never very popular either.
    I would love to win your Book it sounds so awesome.
    Many Blessings

    ingrids62448(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  18. INGRID, this was such a powerful post! Poor MaryLu is ill after her trip. Please pray for her DIANA, LORI, CONNIE, and INGRID. HELEN - praying you are better.

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  19. CONNIE, your book was mailed a few days ago. I hope you enjoy it. Love your comment!

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  20. HELEN, I love that about royalty, daughter of the king, like SUSAN said, too! Your copy shows as having shipped via Amazon, HELEN! I pray you enjoy it as much as we have!!!

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  21. JANICE, yes, even churches have in groups, which is sad. We are all with the in group as far as Christ is concerned. Love what MARYLU said. Blessings!

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  22. CONNIE, your comment was so lovely! Thank you.

    Am praying for a speedy recovery for MARYLU!

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  23. CARRIE it is beautiful...and boy oh boy I really loved the story!:)

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  24. Ladies, I wish I could respond to each of you individually... your posts brought tears to my eyes. I never knew there were so many like me who were ostracized as young people.. made to feel like we didn't fit in somehow. What a lie from the pit of hell! Yes, indeed, we are daughters of the King... masterpieces of His glory. Never ever listen to the lies again.
    I'm feeling slightly better... took a nap this afternoon. Thanks for your prayers!

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  25. I'm going to be a senior in high school this year, and yes, there are groups in my high school. But it seems like the "smart" group is the most popular group. I don't really have a desire to be popular though.

    This sounds like a great book!!

    marissamehresman(at)aol(dot)com

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  26. Carrie - another good night sleep last night, and feeling improved today :) Still quite tired though! Thank you for your prayers!

    Praying you feel well soon, MaryLu. Not nice to be sick just home from your holiday and in the summer :(

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  27. sounds like a wonderful good read thanks for chance to win

    ABreading4fun [at] gmail [dot] com

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  28. What a great post, MaryLu, on a subject I suspect we all have had to deal with to some degree or another. Even those who may not be "people pleasers" often feel the hurt and rejection of not being unconditionally loved or at least accepted.
    I'm looking forward to reading the story, and gazing at that dress on the cover.

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  29. HELEN, praying you and your sis are all better soon, and your kids, too!

    APPLE BLOSSOM, will enter you!

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  30. JANET, you and I have discussed this at length, esp. at conference last year. It is such a big issue for women and for writers in particular. I have your book at my house for you! Hugs!

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  31. Everytime i read an article about "veil of pearls", i want to read it more. Such a great theme, and a struggle we can all relate to. Thanks for this opportunity to win a copy.

    gwen(dot)gage(at)gmail(dot)com

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  32. I really really want to read this. Hope I get my chance soon.
    Thanks
    Amy Campbell
    campbellamyd at gmail dot com

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  33. This was very well said, MaryLu. This is such a great struggle for a lot of people. We must remember to make our lives count for the One who counts the most!

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  34. Hi MaryLu and Carrie!-
    Wow! Can relate to a lot of this...but also am so grateful to have the Lord in my life. Still struggle, but when something happens and we get shaken up a bit, it's absolutely wonderful to have Him as a Covering.
    MaryLu, your books especially take on spiritual warfare in a big way! Hope you are feeling better soon; Hugs and Blessings!

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  35. I think everyone wants to be popular when growing up. I wasn't among the popular girls either. And, like you, when I got the chance to join them I didn't enjoy what they were doing at all!!

    I hope you're feeling better today, MaryLu!

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  36. MaryLu Tyndall!! =)
    Praise God for people like you who proclaim his Truth. I could not agree more, thank you for sharing. I'm praying for your health.
    Now, isn't it something... I was just thinking that I really wanted to finally get my hands on at least one of your books.
    Grateful for the opportunity to win, but also to get a glimpse of how beautiful your heart is.

    My blessings to ladies who feel unworthy. God is near, ready to listen, ready to show you how much he cares.

    Ganise

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  37. Oups, email:
    ganise_4life@hotmail.com

    Ganise

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  38. Thanks so much for sharing your testimony, MaryLu!! What a profound post that we can ALL relate to on some level :) We all want to fit in and be accepted, especially in high school! Loved your perspective and how this book was born out of that mindset, what great insight! When we finally learn to see ourselves through Christ's eyes and realize how cherished we are, it makes all the difference :) Glad you're home safely and am praying for your strength to fully return. Thanks for the giveaway and be mightily blessed! This book sounds so precious as well as entertaining :)

    hi Carrie, Marian, Diana, and Teresa!! *waving to you all* hugs and blessings to all of you and best wishes to the other entrants :)

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  39. Hi Everyone! It's about 2:00 PM here in California and I'm still wading through my emails that accumulated during my trip to Jamaica... but I'm feeling a bit better! Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers.
    I've enjoyed all your comments so much! I wish I could give you all a free copy of my book. :-)
    When I began this writing career, I told the Lord I would write what He wanted and proclaim His truth no matter the cost.. no matter if I got terrible reviews and didn't sell a copy! Because after all is said and done, it's all about Him. :-) Hugs to all!

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  40. ML, so glad you are feeling better. I love what you said, about it being for Him. Bottom line. Hugs back!

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  41. KARA!!! Waving back and glad you came by. We have RAIN, glorious rain, here, yay!

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  42. GANISE, yes, ML has a deep beautiful heart! May God bless all her activities!

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  43. MARIAN, I can really relate to what you said! When I did get around those popular girls and got a load of what they were up to - not good!

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  44. This post is amazing! Thanks MaryLu for sharing your heart. I cannot wait to read this book!

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  45. woo! awesome post! i sorta...kinda own almost all your books! i really can't wait to read this one. I may be only 17 but i love the fact that it's so god driven! <3

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  46. MARYLU!!!! Girlfriend, you will ALWAYS be "cool" to me and WHAT A POST!!!

    I soooo relate because I was teacher's pet in kindergarten, the kid who other kids fought over to hold her hand (no joke!!), then I changed schools 'cause we moved and I broke out in psoriasis ALL OVER and got shunned as a leper (a nun actually had the nerve to ask me if I was SURE it wasn't leprosy in front of the other kids!!!). Moved again in the 5th grade, I got mad and ditched the long-sleeved blouses and knee socks and the sun got to the psoriasis and healed it. The "in crowd" invited me to be part of them, but NO WAY did I want that. I stayed with my crowd of misfits where ... surprise, surprise ... I "fit" just fine! ;)

    This theme is only one of MANY reasons Veil of Pearls is one of my favorite books of all time!!

    Love you!
    Julie

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  47. Great interview! I can relate how we crave the opinion of man more than God! We all need to stop and realize that serving God is more important than man. Love to read this book.
    pbclark(at)netins(dot)net

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  48. I am lobbying for MARYLU and JULIE to do a seminar on popularity and seeking the praise of others. They could present it at ACFW 2013! Thanks for coming by, JULIE, and for sharing! It is sad adults, who could be loving kids and sharing the love of Christ with them, can be so cruel.

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  49. Ms. CLARK, Thanks for coming by! You are SO RIGHT!!!

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  50. Good interview! I think that's something everyone wrestles with at one time or another. Please drop my name in the hat for the giveaway. :)

    writer-weaver at yahoo dot com

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  51. Your post was right on. Today's kids want to fit so they dress like they are adults and have no clue as to what type of person they can draw into their life or the dangers to themselves. My daughter was popular in school and even though she is pretty it was her personality that drew these people to her. She is 47 and still has both guys and gals from grammer school as close friends.
    Have Veil of Pearls on my wish list and would love to win copy. Thanks for the opportunity to enter giveaway.

    misskallie2000 at yahoo dot com

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  52. Great interview! I think you are right on!
    Please enter me into the drawing! Thank you!
    samanthaakuiper(at)gmail(dot)com

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  53. I just LOVE your books! Please enter me in the drawing. Would LOVE to read this new book.

    Battles2001@hotmail.com

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  54. EMMELINE, what a pretty name you have! Sounds like a great character name! I might have to "borrow" it! Thanks for coming by! ML's stories are God-driven, which is great!

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  55. LADETTE, I feel sure you'll write an awesome review after you read this book!

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  56. Hi MELISSA!!! We'll put your name in the random.org hat!

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  57. MISS KALLIE, you make a good unintended point--many popular people are popular because they are people of excellent character, even at a young age! We should strive to be so, to the glory of God not for man's praise. Sounds like you are blessed with a daughter like that!

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  58. There is a young girl in our church who joined our Resolutions for Women study following up the Courageous DVD. She just graduated from high school and will be attending college this Fall. Joining her working with scholarships she will be paying her balance. Her countenance is so excellent, quiet-spoken and the look from her eyes is so pure. This girl was chosen by the student body as Hoop Queen 2011 for the basketball team. God shines all over her!

    lanehillhouse[at]centurylink[dot]net

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  59. Awesome interview with writer MaryLu Tyndall....I am a follower through feedburner....and I have shared on facebook and twitter...love to win a paperback copy of MaryLu Tyndall's new book..'Veil of Pearls'.....babyruthmac16ATyahooDOTcom

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  60. I think way to many times we all struggle with the problems in this book - sounds like an interesting read.
    I would love to win a paperback book
    jking23(at)kent(dot)edu

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  61. I appreciate your post and the way you went into the spiritual details of the book. Sounds great!
    bskaggs(at)zoominternet(dot)net

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  62. TEDDY, I agree ML really address some of the spiritual issues addressed in the book. Hope you get to read it soon!

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  63. JEN, this is an issue for many women. Glad ML addressed it and shared.

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  64. Congrats, LIZ, you are the 1st winner of ML's new release Veil of Pearls!

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